Mommy (Prequel to Ruby's Diary)

8. Secrets

April 7th, 1962

I married Donovan. He had been by my side for years through everything I've experienced. Of course, I did not tell him my secret. I never told anyone my secret, not even my family. Not even Anne, when she was alive. I didn't want it to ruin anything. I could try to live without it, but I don't know how to control it well.

He adored me. I adored him. He was the only person, besides my beloved best friend Anna, who cared for me. He was there to defend me whenever rude girls teased me in school. He was there to comfort me after I discovered Anna. I loved him so much. What did I ever do to deserve him?

I sat down on the sofa and he walked up to me. He knelt down, eye-level with me, and hugged me first.

"We are going to have a beautiful life together, Janice. I want to have a child with you and raise him or her to have a great life with us. I know you would make a perfect mother one day. But, only when you're ready my sweetheart." He kissed my hand.

The thought of having children certainly never crossed my mind. I haven't given much thought to it.

My past continuously comes to haunt me every night, when I close my eyes all I can see are dark images, even memories that don't seem like my memories. But I remember things. I constantly try so hard to remember my very early life, before I was 7 or 8. But for some reason, I can never remember those years at all.

"I love you so much, Janice." He told me once more.

"I love you too, Donovan."