Two Different Stars

In a Galaxy Far Far Away

I gather up his belonging and scramble out of the abandoned station. Where am I going to go now? I don't have anywhere to go. My arms are filled with his things. It's too much to carry, but I can't drop any of it. I just can't bear to lose any of it. 

The first feeling someone feels when hearing news of death is denial. That is exactly what I feel at this moment. What if he's just playing a trick. He's still alive and he's going to come out and hug me any second now. I stare at the photo he's taken. Teardrops are already starting to ruin it. He left his Polaroid-style camera behind. It's starting to become rusty. I tuck it under my neck. 

I want this to be a joke. I want all of this to be some sick joke, but it's not. I need to wake up and just accept that he's gone and I'll never have a friend like him. I hail a taxi. It's damp outside, and I wish it wasn't. His stuff is all going to get ruined. I get off at a nearby hotel. Tomorrow is going to be another day. Tomorrow I'm going to become an astronaut and fly us to Pluto. If there's one thing I can do for you, it's that. Just the two of us Damien, just the two of us. 

I spent most of the night curled up, surrounded by his things, and grieving. It's never a pretty sight to see someone mourn the loss of something close. I can't remember what time it is, but the cars are still driving by. 

I look down at my fingers. How far do I have to pull them back before they snap? Maybe just feeling the pain will make me feel alive. Make me feel that I'm awake. I'm not dreaming anymore. I'm still breathing and fighting and just surviving. I have no need for my degree anymore. I'm going to go to Pluto for him. 

I can't remember when I fell asleep, but I did. The sun stings my eyes and everything seems so out of place. I walk and walk until I find the all famous NASA. 

"how can I help you?" a woman asks. I walk towards her and look her dead in the eyes. 

"I'm here to be an astronaut and I will stop at nothing until I am." 

They kicked me out, I mean what else were they going to do. It was a lousy plan. I guess I'm just not thinking straight. 

I decided to wait outside. The weather is starting to get colder. That doesn't matter, I'll just sit here day and night waiting until they let me in. Please I need go. Please let me in. 

That night someone came out in an astronaut suit and sat next to me. 

"You can't be loitering here ma'am" He breaths, his voice muffled by the helmet. 

"you don't understand I need to get in there. I want to become like you. I want to become an astronaut" 

"you should of thought about that before you went to school" 

"I changed my mind" 

"you can't just change your mind, where's your locket?" 

 "I lost it" 

"we definitely can not let you in" 

"please" I beg and beg and beg putting all the emotions that I have left into persuading him. 

He snares at me and walks away. I can't stay here. 

A few more days go by before I decide to break in. I wait like a hawk for them all to leave before making my move. i scan a key card I swiped from a clueless scientist and enter the facility with grace.  

I brought all of his things in a bad with me. I'm not going alone, I promised you and we're finally going to make it. The first step is to find a rocket and learn how to fly it. There should be a rocket ready at the launch pad. i keep on hearing news that they're finally going to try to make it to Pluto. i'm just going to barrow the rocket. This isn't stealing, I have a good reason. 

Quickly, I power the rocket on. I skimmed over the manual, hope I'm pressing the right things. It takes me an hour before I even blast off. I'm naive for trying this. I might end up dying but it's worth a shot. It's always worth a shot. 

I put on an astronaut suit and check the supplies. There is more then enough food and oxygen tanks. The sound is unbreakable,  but I'm finally leaving earth. The lights burn my eyes and i can hear sirens in the distance. They've noticed and I'm going to get caught, not I'm not coming back. 

After what feels like hours, I leave earth's orbit. I detach my pod from the rest of the ship. I hope it can get me there. Fly fly fly, no matter how long it takes I'm determined to make it. 

I take a picture with his camera. The undeveloped phone slides out pleased about being used. I shake it until a picture appears. 

Several years past before I make it to Pluto; 7 years to be exact. Finally there at my end point. 

"Damien, we're going to live here forever." 

throughout the journey I played his recording over and over again. the rocket is decorated with his things. I land the ship carelessly and bring his things with me. I jump onto the surface. It's hard and cold, but everything looks so smooth and plain yet beautiful and breath taking. 

"We made it Damien." 

"Just the two of us now here, forever" 

"Two insignificant stars in a world full of galaxies" 

"We are such two different stars, but we're here together now. It's nice to meet you Damien" 

I press the play button on the recording, one last time. 

Slowly I take off my helmet as I lay there. I breath in the atmosphere. Deep breaths of pleasure and remorse, I welcome the air and let the land envelope me whole. 

"i love you' was all I could say before everything turns cold and dark. There is no white light, there is no end. There is just me and only me. No one else and nothing else. I'm here, I'm me, and I made it. 

Two different stars with two different lives and how one little accident can spark such action and devotion for someone I knew so little about yet wanted to see the whole world with. I embrace the feeling that keeps me warm through all this blackness and hold onto it with every last once of strength. 

We made it.