Loving Sunny

Track 02

I'm happy I can spend time with my child, don't get me wrong. But, when her school decides to have a free day while I don't, it kind of makes me want to cry. Sunny had the day off. I didn't. I most definitely did not have a free moment this day.

Two tests, one essay and extra hours at work to make up for the missing ones.

Most definitely did not have free time.

Today was going to be hectic but it had to be done. My parents are dead, I have no friends at University nor work, my neighbors... I know the landlady and she doesn't live in the building. I didn't trust her school friend's parents yet (basically, I have not spent time with them yet). The only person who could take care of Sunny was me.

At least I got to class early.

Luckily, university is more open about visitors so I could have Sunny sat on my lap during the lecture and there wasn't a way she could get told to leave. Well, it's different with tests but I pray to God that the teachers will let it slide since she's a child.

"Dad," She sat in my lap in class but the teacher was to arrive in less than 10 minutes. I brought some snacks for her to have during the day so we were eating chocolate cereal at the moment.

"Mm?"

"Jamie has an older sister who goes to university too."

"Really?"

She nods and extends her hand to point at the middle front where a group of girls were chatting. "She picks Jamie up every day and sometimes stays with me while you get there."

I look at where she points and meet eyes with a girl who has been glancing our way for a couple times now. That's the girl who waved at me from the bus. I don't make eye contact with people to avoid conversations but I could tell she kept glancing this way. I mean, I'm at the very far back, there are more or less five people scattered and I'm in a corner. You make it pretty obvious there, girl.

I avert my gaze back to Sunny. "Do you know her name?"

She nods again, "Her name is Emilie!"

"Emilie... I see."

"You aren't her friend, dad?"

I laugh slightly, "No, princess. I haven't talked to her yet."

She sighs, "Dad, you're so silly..."

And I laugh yet again but stop when I feel (and glance) at how the people in the room are looking at me. It must be a sight to see the guy who never laughs or talks in class to be laughing so freely. I felt the warmth in my face as I cleared my throat and sat Sunny on top of the desk to face me, and hence, hide me.

"She always has a flower on her hair, did you see?" She told me this with excitement in her voice. I'm glad that she didn't raise her voice, though.

I glance at Emilie and nod at Sunny. "She has a daisy today."

"She says she wears a flower for their meaning. What is a daisy?"

"Mm... I think it means you're adorable." I bop her nose with a smile and she giggles as reply.

After that, the lecture began and thankfully none of the teachers complained as Sunny sat in the empty seat next to me and drew in silence during the class I had tests. When I just had a lecture, she showed me her drawings from time to time but during a test, she knew to not talk to me until I was done. She obediently did as requested.

At the end of classes, I picked her up and we made our way back home. Today I got an hour before work began so we had lunch at home and went back out just in time. This time Sunny brought a few of her toys so I carried a bag on my shoulders.

When we got to work I spoke with my supervisor and he said it was okay for Sunny to sit at a table as long as she behaved. And she did. She sat there quietly playing with her things.

When I could, I went over to her and handed her a piece of cake and a milkshake. "You can eat it alone?"

She gasped and nodded quickly, thanking me for the food and sitting straight to reach better. She did get some crumbs here and there on the table but overall, she tried to be clean. I found myself laughing softly behind the register as I saw her clean the table with a napkin, not knowing where to throw the crumbs at since she couldn't wipe the floor after.

I went over her and ruffled her hair. She looked up at me and when I smiled, she grinned.

"Well done, love."

I took the plate and empty vase back to the kitchen and watched her play for the rest of my shift.

-✪-

At the end of the day we were both exhausted and when I went to pick her up after marking my leave off work, she was asleep on her seat. I didn't want to wake her up so I scattered her toys and drawings and got them inside the bag, throwing it over my shoulder and quietly kneel down to pick her up.

But as I moved her, she opened her eyes and spoke softly, "Dad?"

I smiled, "We're going home now, Sunny."

I didn't have to rush from work today so I felt rather calm. The chilly breeze of the afternoon was relaxing and I kept myself from dozing off by swaying Sunny to the side as she hugged me and slept with her head on my shoulder. It was a nice day and the bus ride was enjoyable.

I had time to look at the trees and decorations of the street. I didn't realize how pretty the neighborhood could look but it was. It was calm. The bus was half empty and it was quiet. I felt the warmth of Sunny as she was in my arms and it felt like home.

She is my home.

I thought today would be crazy, hectic, disastrous, the epitome of bad things. But it wasn't. Instead, it felt more like...

A blessing.

Blessed to have this life I don't appreciate enough.

When we got home I couldn't stop smiling. I felt rather happy today and Sunny noticed.

"Dad, you're smiling!"

I laughed, "It's because I love you!" I hugged her as gently as I could but as I felt her tiny arms around me and her warmth, I couldn't help but pull her closer to me.

"Sunny loves dad too."

I always thought people said the phrase "I love you" too easily but when you have someone you care about so much, it just feels as if these words slipped on its own. It's never enough. You never have enough of saying it and I never get tired of saying it.

I love you, Sunny.