Loving Sunny

a fixed melody

Some days were harder to survive than others. I know this but it doesn't make me more used to it. Some days, although not often, I wake up by nightmares and it's harder to go back to sleep afterwards. It's one of those hard days where the accumulated stress of the week heaves on my back and neck, making my body ache like hell and makes the bed painfully uncomfortable to be on. It's one of those days where the nightmares of the people I loved leaving me on my own wakes me up at 3 am, even when I went to sleep at 1.

But there's always light in the darkness. Today in particular, Sunny had decided to hold her favorite bunny plushie, that's half her size, to sleep. It made it warmer to hug her and hugging something fluffy when she sleeps makes her snuggle closer to me, usually burying her face in my chest

I smile a bit as my hands softly run through her hair, finding the action soothing for my heart and stress relieving, especially when she leans into the touch in her sleep and her little mouth opens a little to let out soft breaths.

Unintentionally, I let out a chuckle and kiss her forehead, using both arms to hold her close and bury my own face in her hair. I feel her move slightly, nuzzling into me before going back to being still, peacefully asleep.

"It feels like the world doesn't hate me sometimes" I find myself whispering. I hold Sunny a little more tightly against me as I realize what's about to happen.

Years ago, I remember being a very loud kid in many senses. Not only my voice was loud enough for everyone to hear but also my presence, I was the kind of person that never went unnoticed and I enjoyed every bit of the attention. But now... Now it was the opposite. It was difficult at first but now it's easy for me to blend in, go unnoticed and be quiet. I was almost a ghost sometimes and sometimes, just like now, I was thankful I could cry without making a noise.

Sunny isn't a light sleeper so I was sure she wouldn't hear the small gasps that escaped my mouth as I cried. It also helped that I buried my face in the pillow, muffling everything.

It was a little past 4 am when I looked at the clock again, I felt a headache coming and my eyes felt heavy and tired from all the crying I did for the past 40 something minutes. I sigh softly, scratching my nose and moving my face to be buried in Sunny's hair again, feeling drowsy and ready to sleep for a few more hours.

Point of View change

"Papa... Wake up~" Sunny speaks softly, using a singing tone in order to not startle Jun awake. She's aware of her dad's little habits and perks since he's not very subtle about them. Jun only opens up with Sunny, showing her every feeling he's having through his expressions and only ever trying to hide his tiredness but being bad at it and having Sunny interpret it as sadness, immediately comforting him and unknowingly give him energy.

She whines a bit, pinching Jun's cheeks as a backup plan to wake him up. "Daaad" she says louder this time.

Jun successfully moves but only a hand to hold Sunny's tiny one that pinches his cheek. He takes her hand in his bigger one and gives it a kiss, pulling her over to snuggle which causes her to giggle and squirm in his arms.

"Dad! It's late~" despite her 'lecturing' tone, she makes herself comfortable in her dad's arms, embracing the warmth and comfort as Jun pulls the blankets over them to snuggle, moving the bunny plushie to the side to have Sunny closer.

"I don't want to go out today, baby"

"But Sunny has to go to school, dad~"

"I think you can miss one day, though... We'll just say you felt a bit sick today and I was taking care of you"