I Love You, Hyung! (Meanie Oneshot Collection)

Feelings

There's actually something that I avoided. Or you could say someone. He who still lingers in my mind. His face that always  my angers. He who was part of my life.

"Wonu-ya!"

A voice that come from someone who always with me now. He slowly approach me with a smile in his face. I can't help to smile even though it's fake. It's always fake.

"Sorry I'm late. Did I make you wait too long?"

I shake my head. I didn't wait him too long. It's just the fact that I'm waiting alone that make it feel so long. If I'm with him, he would surprise me and made me laugh. My boy right now is too gentle. That I feel a slight uncomfortable in my stomach.

He took my hand, I'm not used to it despite how many years we've been dating. Despite how acceptable the community to us. To me. But still it does feel different. If it's not him. I...

"You've been really quiet today. Something bothered your mind?"

I shake my head. Again.

"I'm not. Might be I'm just stressed from work."

He smile despite my lies. A sad smile. Did he read my mind?

I told him to bring me to the usual cafe. He cheered a little. He might be believe I'm just stress since sweets always cure me. Though I hate sweets before. But he taught me. He also the one to introduced me to that cafe. The one that become my favorite cafe until now. My current dating site with my current lover.

I choosed my usual favorites while trying to listened all of his story without spacing out. I just need to follow him up until it's the time to stuff my mouth with sweetness when we're done waiting. It's overwhelming that I must excuse my self to toilet. Throwing up 'till my stomach empty.

"It's always been like this."

I said while looking at my reflection on the mirror. Look terrible. I decide to back to my seat as I feel his stare on me.

"You don't look well. Wanna go back?"

I nod. I'll waste my self if I force my own to enjoy it too much. I didn't complaint when he told me that I stress my self too much. It's not me. It's his fault. It's their fault. It's their fault that tomorrow has the date I hate for the whole of my life. The event that change everything.

I just space out until he drop me by my apartment. Kissing my forehead gently while saying not to stress my self while resting. I just smile while he finally say goodbye. It hurts to imagine if he knows the truth. If he knows how many times I've lied to him.

I walk to my room and lock the door before I slump to my bed. Today is bad day and tomorrow is the worst. I check my phone that I left on my jeans pocket the whole time. Noticing at least five missed calls and few unread texts. From him.

「Can we meet tomorrow? At the usual cafe? I don't take no.」

He left me no choice. Like before. Always with his ego and selfishness. The thing I hate and the thing I miss so bad. I guess I better go sleep now.

***

He always lingers in my mind. From years ago. He who I left 'cause of my selfishness. Because I don't want him to pity me. Today, I meet him again. After years.

I wait patiently on my seat though my stomach really feel uncomfortable. It's always like this when I want to meet him. But I need to stay calm. I don't want him to see me as a pathetic guy.

From here, I can see he enters the cafe since he is fairly tall. He walk slowly to me still with his face facing down. He seems nervous. Like before. Though he just slowly sit in front of me. Trying to hide everything on his mind.