I'll Love You Forever || (n.j.)

Chapter 12

I sat in the living room, typing away on my computer. Suddenly, I heard the door open and close.

Must be Dixie back from the store.

"The kids upstairs?" I heard Nick's voice behind me and I jumped. He was dressed in a simple pair of jeans and a button down shirt. I nodded, a lump beginning to form in my throat. I was suddenly reminded of the fight we had only a few nights prior to this. About him going back and producing music again. My gaze went back to what I was typing on my laptop, and my mind blanked. I stared at it for what seemed like hours before Nick came back down, his hands jammed in his pockets.

"I can't come see the kids tomorrow. I'll be booked at the studio all day." I choked back my words of anger I wanted to scream at him. I stood up slowly, stepping over to him.

"Are you coaching?"

"No, not exactly." I was on to him now. I tried my best to stay calm, but it didn't work very well.

"So, let me get this straight," I said, crossing my arm across my chest and shifting my weight to one side.

"You're going to start making more music, which everyone is going to instantly love again, then you're going to go around the world touring. Thus, whenever our kids are out in public they're going to get hounded by cameras and millions of questions. I can handle it, but they can't." My voice rose with every word that came out of my mouth.

"My God, it's what I do Leighton. You know that."

"I don't want our children exposed to that. That is the exact reason you gave it up, Nick." He ran his hand over his face, groaning in frustration.

"You cannot expect me to give it up that easily after I've done it for most of my life."

"This is exactly why we can't even be in the same room together." I said in a hushed tone, looking down and shaking my head in disbelief.

"I don't want to give up on this Leighton. I love you so much sweetheart." Nick stepped over to me, putting his finger under my chin and lifting it. I saw Dixie in the kitchen, looking passed Nick quickly at her. She offered me a smile and I returned it.

"We can never agree on anything anymore." I pouted, looking into his deep brown eyes. His gaze softened, his hand going up to my cheek and caressing it gently. I did love him, I really did.

"And that's why we're on a break." His voice was soothing. His tone was sweet and it was forgiving. I invited him to sit on the couch next to me, and we talked for the next hour or so. Dixie had put the kids to bed not long after Nick spent time with them, before coming down by me.

"I love you Nick." I said to him, my head on his lap as we watched our wedding video. His fingers played in my hair, and I could hardly keep my eyes open. Once it ended with a myself telling him how much I loved him, and blowing a kiss at the camera, Nick yawned. Before I knew it, I fell asleep half on his lap.

-
The next morning, I woke up on the couch still in my outfit from yesterday, and I was laying on top of Nick, his arm draped over me. I put my hands on his chest, seeing that the top button of his shirt was unbuttoned. I gazed down at him, his breathing slow, and he was letting out soft snores. I just wanted to smother him with kisses and hugs.

"Morning." I said in his ear softly, kissing it. Nick's eyes fluttered open and I felt his body stretch underneath me. Once he realized where he was, his eyes widened a bit.

"Morning beautiful." He smiled at me, his face sleepy still. I slid myself to sit next to him and he sat up straight, rubbing his face and yawning loudly. My heart soared as he looked at me with a sleepy grin.

"I should probably get going." Nick said, starting to stand up and smooth out his shirt. Without word, I got up and smashed my lips into his, my heart aching for him. He deepened it, pushing me against the back of the couch. Once we pulled away, we were both breathing pretty heavily.

"Are you guys back together?" Rylan's excited voice asked. We looked at the side, our daughter standing at the entrance to the living room. Nick let me off the couch and I explained it to her.

"We were never split up sweetie." He nodded to the statement, stepping over next to me and putting his arm around my waist. Rylan was still confused, cocking her head to the side.

"I'm gonna get going." Nick whispered in my ear, softly kissing the side of my head. I didn't want him to leave, but if he stayed, I'd start again with Island Records. That whole thing. He said bye to the kids before leaving the house and I had to explain to my daughter what was going on.

As much as I didn't want to.

"Baby, daddy and I are still together. We're just taking a break from each other. Sometimes people need that," I crouched in front of her, sweeping some blonde hair out of my face. She nodded, but looked like she wanted to say something.

"You look like you need to say something. Say it."

"But you guys aren't in the same house. You're never both with at dinner anymore." Rylan began to pout. I wasn't about to talk to my nine year old daughter about my issues with her father.

"It's adult stuff." I said, standing up and making my way up to Jonah's room. My son was still sound asleep, his blankets kicked on the floor. I smiled, his brown, curly hair sticking up in all directions. I decided to let him sleep longer, closing the bedroom door. I went back to the living room, my laptop still open and my phone almost dead. I decided to call Nick anyway.

"Hello." He answered my call.

"I miss you Nick. So bad."

"I miss you too, but we never see eye to eye. You know that honey."

"I know, but can we try?" With the silence I was getting, it didn't sound like he was too hopeful.

"Maybe we should-"

"Don't say it Nick. Don't you dare say it." I was not able to believe that he was about to say that to me. Did he really not care?

"Leighton. It's been almost a month, and all our encounters have been...well... I just don't think either of us are really fighting for this."

"I know! But if you move back in, we can work on it! That's how it's supposed to work Nick! I'm not ready to give up, for the kids' sake."

"If we stay together for the kids, neither of us are going to be happy Leigh. You know that as well as I do." I was only silent. I didn't even want to talk to him anymore. So I just hung up the phone without another word. All the tears I've held in for the past few weeks were finally going to overflow.

I sat on the couch, taking in deep breaths and trying to calm myself. I ran my fingers in my hair over and over, taking more and more breaths, but nothing was working.

"He's so stupid!" I screamed, punching the pillow. At this point, I didn't really care if I was heard or not. Of course, I knew I'd most likely regret this later.

He had just told me that he didn't want to give up on us. That he loved me so much, too much to do that. Then he turns around and does this? It made no sense.

Thoughts began to run through my head as to why he would even begin to talk about divorce.

Was he seeing another woman?

No, he's not like that.

Was it because of what I said about the job?

Did he not love me anymore?

That last thought stopped me dead in my tracks. It seemed like my tears turned off and I just froze. I couldn't fathom the fact that we didn't love each other anymore. I began to sob harder, then felt someone's arms around me. It was my little sister. I leaned into her, not even asking why she was here. I just needed someone to hold me.