Under Circumstances || Better Titled: What The Hell Are You Doing, Kaiba?

Speak so he understands you, Kaiba.

We had been woken from our sleep not long ago. Mutou had been the one to wake us, as none of the others really felt like coming anywhere near me.

Everyone had settled down to sleep, they wouldn't be awake to interrupt my time with Jounouchi, nor would they be there to control the conversation and ensure we didn't lash out at one another.

I wasn't certain how I felt for this. There were pros and cons to this as with everything. They were on equal ground.

We sat in silence for some time as we waited for the others to to fall asleep. It was draining to sit like this with him. I tried to find distraction in my own thoughts, but those only betrayed.

Soon Jounouchi was speaking up.

“Hey Kaiba, do you think they're sleeping now?”

"Given the time, I would assume so, yet, I wouldn't doubt it if we had an eavesdropper."

“I don't think I would either, you got a lot of us angry at you.” He laughed.

“I can't see what it is that I've done to cause such hatred, but it is what it is, there is little to be done.”

"That's one way to look at it, but if they don't trust you, how are you supposed to be a good leader? You kinda have to earn their trust somehow."

“Do you think I've been able to find any trust in them? So far the only people who have acted any bit rational are Mutou and yourself."

"Thanks, it means. . Something. I don't know."

In this moment, Jou seemed much more docile, not as violent as he had been in the past. There were previous instances in which I had seen such a side to him, I had to say that this part, I didn't mind so much. It was the Jounouchi that easily boiled over that I had an issue with, and that issue was hardly existent, that Jounouchi was a challenger, not someone I believed I could have gone without after out first meeting.

“Nor do I."

My thoughts betrayed me. My mind had always found a way to work against me, from the beginning of my memories to now.

“So . . " He looked to the field in front of us, as if he actually planned on taking his responsibilities seriously. He was meant to be protecting his friends with this, I could understand his want to do well.

It took time for me to realise that I had been staring at this trash child. I didn't know why I wasted my thoughts on him now, I forced my eyes to the field.

He spoke up immediately.

"Do you think they're okay?"

I didn't need any further prompt to know who he spoke of. A sense of dread wrapped around my throat, squeezed tight to stop my breath. My hands shook.

I nodded, because if I didn't, I may never be able to get over this feeling. If I didn't continue to believe that Mokuba was alright, I knew I wouldn't have been able to deal with the guilt. If I thought for a moment that he was dead, I would die.

"They're probably doing better than we are, Mokuba is smart, he's likable, they're going to be alright, they're going to be better than we are. They couldn't die."

". . I hope you're right."

I refused to look, but I could hear him moving again, he sound didn't quit for a while. Was he was trying to distract himself, that or he was cold? We hadn't made a fire, so it was probable. I'd keep this in mind for the next night.

"Are you alright?"

He stopped moving.

"Yeah, I'm alright, I'll be good."

"You will be, or you are? There's a difference, Jounouchi."

I couldn't tell what he did, but he had done something, and it created the oddest sound.

"Both?"

I didn't believe this, yet I nodded anyway. There was no point in arguing with him over something I didn't need to know. I didn't care, or I shouldn't have cared. He wasn't a friend, he wasn't important, he was just Jounouchi, a stain on humanity.

I bit the insides of my cheeks as I waited for this feeling to pass.

Why did I feel disgusting?

Silence took over once more.

Once more, he was the one to break it.

"Kaiba. . ?"

"Yeah?"

"Why is it always me?"

"Always you?"

"That you pull from harms way, there are four other people here, but you always grab onto me."

Silence.

I didn't answer this. I didn't have an answer, he didn't try to push me further either.

We remained like this for a while longer, the stiff air between us consuming.

He spoke again.

"Kaiba?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

A tightening in my chest.

I felt myself grow weak.

He had thanked me, and for something that I hadn't meant to do, something that was only second nature, something I had cursed myself over.

I felt bad now.

"Don't . . Don't mention it."

I didn't wish to think about it. It was not something deserving of his thanks.

We didn't speak for a while after that, the atmosphere only advancing to suffocating levels.

I was stiff, awkwardly next to Jounouchi who seemed to be so lax.

He was far too comfortable with me.

I didn't know how I felt about this. It was whelming.

"It doesn't look like anything's coming, are we just gonna spend all night watching the sky?"

"Is that what you've been doing, Jounouchi? I thought you were looking for threats."

From the corner of my eye, I saw him lean forward.

"It doesn't seem like there's anything out here. . And unlike in the city, I can see the stars."

It was nice, for once, to be able to see what the city lights masked.

A trip into the country hadn't been such a bad thing, if only this trip had been made under better circumstances.

As this pattern of ours has been, we again fell to silence.

Yet, he didn't seem to wish to walk anymore.

"Jounouchi?"

Silence still.

"Jounouchi?"

A pause.

"Ah. . Yeah?"

He seemed a bit lost. Had he fallen asleep, or had he zoned out?

Should I have waited until later? Should I not say anything? It was too late, I already had his attention. I couldn't push it away. It could confuse or anger him, maybe both. I didn't want nor need that.

"J'apprécie vos efforts pour moi, Jounouchi, s'il vous plaît, prenez soin de moi."

"Whatsat?"

". . Don't worry about it."

I looked at him now, only to see him nodding.

I found myself relieved at this. He wasn't angry. This was good. He easily could have lashed out.

"It sounded nice. . , and sincere." He leaned on one arm, tilted his head as he looked at me. "It better not have been an insult, cause I'll have to kick your ass."