Wandering the woods.

The Bright Side Of The Shadowy Man.

August 18th. 2015.
I look outside the airplane window. Goodbye America, hello Japan.
It was a hard choice to make. Risk my life and enter these cursed woods. I have nothing left to lose. I look at the seat next to me. It was supposed to be for Joey, but he decided not to come along. He is a scared pussy. I am also, but I have nothing left to live for. I gave everybody I had up for some douchebag who cheated on me. I am very depressed. I look outside again. I wish I could fly, I could try, but I'd probably die. Being save up high would me perfect. Nothing to worry about. I grab my phone. No signal. Well, fuck. I close my eyes, pretending to fly. Something touches my leg. I open my eyes and the shadowy man looked at me. 'Hello' it says. 'Can you talk?' 'Yes I can. I wanted to thank you for doing this. You are a very special girl.' 'I have nothing left to fear.' I say. I looked at my shoes. 'Believe me, as I say you do. Believe in yourself, the truth can be hard.' 'I think you're right.' I say. I'm lying. I don't believe the bullshit he is saying. I don't believe in myself. This is a mystery I need to solve. If I don't, I die. It's not a choice, it's good or bad luck. I'm so tired. I'm overthinking. I close my eyes again. Dreaming. The same dream as always.
'Lady? Hello? You need to wake up. We have arrived.' I open my eyes. The beautiful green eyes of the stewardess look at me. She smiles. She has the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. 'I'm sorry' I say as I stand up. Clumsy I look for my hand luggage. 'Fuck, where are my stuff?' I moan. I am starting to realize someone took it, probably stole it. I am lucky that my money and ID are in my pocket. I walk to the airport. It takes a while for my bags to finally arrive. I passed through the security. As I come outside of the airport I see a lot of taxis. 'Hello, can you take me to a hotel the closest to Aokigahara Forest?' I ask a taxi driver. He looks pretty disturbed. He closes the window and drives away. I ask a few more taxi drivers, but they all do the same thing. I sit down on the sidewalk. Fuck. What now? Walk? The shadowy man sits next to me. His arm around my shoulder. 'It's going to be fine.' He says 'I'll help you out.' Somebody walks towards me. 'I hear what you've been searching for' he says. 'You are the first one to accept my request.' 'It's okay, here is my cab. Get in.'

After 3 hours of driving, the cab finally stops at a hotel. 'Here you go, this place is one hour walk from the Aokigahara. Wish you can free yourself from this living Hell.' 'No, no, what? That's not what I'm going to do.' 'Yeah, sure' 'Anyway, thank you for bringing me' I hand over some money. He hand me over my bags and drives away.

There I stand, alone, for a huge hotel. I grab my luggage and walk in. I see a woman behind the desk. 'A room for one person' I say. She looks at me while trying to understand what I mean. After a few seconds of language puzzling she talks 'okay, yes. This way please.' Her accent makes me smile. She is a nice lady. She brings me to a room. As I walk in I see some signs on the wall, but they're Japanese, so I can't read them. I'm so tired. I try to sleep, but I can't. I keep overthinking stuff. I put on the television. There you have them again. The signs. 青木ヶ原. The shadowy man really wants me to go there. I am on the 15th floor of the hotel. Japan is a beautiful country, but there are loads of poor people. Which makes me sad for them. I walk to my window and I try to open it. It's stuck. 'It won't open. They don't want people to commit suicide' someone says. I look behind me and see the shadowy man. I walk towards him and I give him a big hug. He cuddles me back, and yet again I feel warm and loved. I start crying. I cry my eyeballs out. After an hour I find myself laying on the bed. Looking at the ceiling. My eyes feel swollen. I stand up and walk to the bathroom. As I look in the mirror I see a sad girl. She looks weird. Her eyes are thick and red. The sighting of myself struggling is one thing I can't handle. It would be so much better if I just died, this day. I start crying again. Tonight I am going to sleep, I tell myself. I'm going to sleep a lot. Tomorrow is the great day, the day I am going to solve a mystery. My life would be so much better after this. I will get money and love. People will praise me. I am not crazy. I wonder how many people think I am. Everybody knows me as 'Joeys crazy girl', not even my name. Stephanie. Steph. I think about my parents. They died at a car crash. Me, my brother and my parents where in the vehicle when the accident happened. All of a sudden the brakes didn't work. The wheels were stuck in their place. We ran into a tree. I lost my whole family that day. My mom and dad were both immediately dead. My brother laid in a coma for two months. We gave up on him. Unplugged him. I turn the tap on. Cold water stings in my hands. I form a bowl with my hands and fill it with water. When it's filled I throw it in my face. It feels refreshing. As I am searching for a towel I see him again. 'I need to talk to you, little girl.' I feel very discriminated. I'm not a little girl. I'm a 21 year old grown women. I rush into my bedroom. 'What is it about?' I ask. He points at the tv. I see the signs again. 'Dude, just tell me. How do I break the curse.' 'Follow the red wire' 'What?' 'In the woods, there is red wire. You need to follow it for a solution.' 'Okay, thank you.'  I look up. He is gone. I lay down on my bed and close my eyes. Tomorrow will be the day.