Bleach. Life in the real world (Grimmjow x reader)

Sorrow

(Just to let you guys know reader-chan will have some depression issues and will do some self harm. Just letting u guys know ahead of time.)

I was dragged and thrown back into to my room by Yammy. *I feel so cold...and empty. I still have all of my memories of my life, but i just can't feel anything from them anymore........not even from my memories of......Himato.....................Himato! How could I still remember him, How could I remember anything from my life of the Living?! Maybe I'm not fully hollow after all!* I got off the the floor and climbed into bed. *I wish Grimmjow was here with me* Out of pure sorrow and hate I took my zanpokto and continuously ran it along my arm/wrist.
~time skip~
*im..... I feel so empty and sad.....* Ulquiorra had stopped by my room on multiple occasions to try his best to cheer me up which in his favor made himself look like a complete idiot. I always kept my arm hidden especially from Ulquiorra. I've also bee trying to find Grimmjow so I could talk to him and tell him that I could tell him how I truly felt instead of him making false accusations. I was roaming the hall when I found Grimmjow's room. Today was the day I was going to tell him. I walked up to the door a knocked.
"Grimmjow......its me [y/n]......I want to talk to you."
there wasn't any answer so I opened the door. His room looked like a bomb went off,
"Grimmjow? Are you in here?"
"................what do you want Shiffer......."
i slightly flinched when he called me by Ulquiorra's and my last name. I walked into the dark and found Grimmjow sitting in a chair in the corner of the room.
"I want to talk to you"
"To make me feel worse for kissing you and to tell me I'm a monster"
"NO! I never said that! I-i wanted to tell you how I feel..."
"So your gonna tell me you love someone else."
"No!"
Grimmjow was standing up now and looking down at me.
"So what do you want to tell-"
i cut him off and placed my lips on his kissing him but he didn't kiss back. I stopped and then placed my head on his chest and hugged him.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I didn't say anything I-I was just so shocked that you would do it. I didn't think you would share the same feelings as me. I've liked you for a while and never had the guts to tell you because I never thought that you would return the feeling..."

(Sry if it's short kinda running out of ideas and I would like u guys to comment after this to see if I should do a lemon next or later. If you guys could do that then I would really appreciate it, also ideas and pointers are welcome.)