Do you know what I've always hated? Feet. Horrible things! I mean the human body isn't the most attractive thing in the world. But human feet are just disgusting.
These are just one of many things I think about on a daily basis. I always had thoughts like these on the Suspension Bridge in Bristol (seeing as I lived 10 minutes away). It was the place I could really think, I mean of course I could think in other places too, its just when ever needed to clear my mind and think about something other than my home, school, the jobs that I hated so much, I would always head over to the Suspension Bridge.
I guess that's where it all started. Early September 2016. Five years after leaving school at 16, for good. 5 minutes after my long tiring shift at KFC, I took the bus to the stop 10 seconds away from the bridge, and just stood there at the centre of the bridge looking down at the river, watching the falcons soaring to their nests in the cliffs beside. Thinking about both everything and nothing... and probably feet as well.
Normally I would've been there for 20 minutes maybe. But on this particular day it took an hour and a half before feeling ready to go home. My day was just so exhausting I just didn't feel ready yet to head home and see the state my mother might have gotten her self into. I just watched the sun go down and left when I thought it was almost dark, hoping that my mum might have left for the night at that point. I strolled back to the bus stop to take the bus to the street a few minutes from where I live.
The bus came almost immediately. I sat down at the back of the bus because I really didn't feel like sitting next to old ladies and load, rowdy men on the way to the rugby match, if I'm truly honest. I just wanted to sit on my own and listen to my dodgy IPod that I've had since I was 10.
I've always been like that you see. At school I never really liked being around large numbers of people, or people in general, the only person who was the closest thing I had to a friend was my cousin Julia. We're the same age, school year and even she went to my school, well until the end of year 11 when she and her family left for New Zealand. I guess that's what makes us so close, not only is she family, she's also a best friend to me too. God that sounds sad, but sadly it's true. Julia obviously had other friends too, because she was always nice to everyone. The only class we had together was maths, so we never really saw each other. But when I saw her at Christmas or out in town or in maths class, that's when we'd talk. Sadly since she left we haven't really talked to each other at all, I mean we had the odd Skype chat at Christmas or on each other's birthday, but because of the time difference and everything, for two years we haven't really spoken as much as we used to.
As the bus pulled away I turned on my IPod and put on the song Moving On by Paramore, because I honestly just felt like listening to it.
Let 'em have their time
Sit back and let 'em shine
Let 'em rise and rise
Cause one day they're gonna fall
After Julia left, I was left friendless. I didn't really have any friends to begin with apart from Julia. But when I started sixth form things kinda changed as well.
Let 'em soak in the sun
Sit back and let 'em have their fun
Let 'em spill their guts
cause one day they're gonna slip on 'em
When I started sixth form a boy named Jonah who, for a while, made things a little bit better. We were in the same German class and that's where we met. We would talk to each other in every lesson about our similar interests. We would talk about the music we liked, about the movies we loved (mainly Star Wars), talked about everything.
