Dans POV
The day Phil died was awful to say the least.
I had always got the feeling that Phil was sad the whole time I was, but he was always a person who put himself before others.
I should've been there for him more.
The police told me that he had been found dead in the hotel room with a handful of pills and a note.
Pj and Chris have read it, but I just can't. I can't bring myself to read what was going through his mind moments before he died, even though they say I should read it.
Pj and Chris moved back in with me to make sure I didn't kill myself or get bad again.
I don't talk anymore. It seems pointless considering the only person I want to talk to isn't here anymore. Louise comes to check on me often, but it just makes me sadder, considering Phil and I were going to name our baby girl Louise. She is the one who brought us back together, so we thought it would be perfect.
I remember the times we used to laugh while making videos. I remember when we would eat breakfast and watch anime together. I remember when we stayed up late to talk about the meaning of life. I remember how happy I felt kissing him. I remember his blue piercing eyes, and how happy they looked when they weren't sad. I remember how my hand fit perfectly to his. I remember promising him we'd be together forever, romantically or not, because we always loved each other and are there for each other 24/7.
I feel selfish being depressed and having him help me while he was hurting too. He never told me that he felt like that, but I realize more now then ever that Phil always would put me first.
Not to be dramatic, but I'm pretty sure he'd die for me, as I would do the same for him.
I hug my moms bear tightly and cry for what seems like forever.
Nothing will ever be the same.
Everything is vemod now.
Except not a calm feeling, more of a deep sinking hole in my heart that never will be filled
Phil was what filled my heart.
And now he's gone.
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to be honest I'm balling my eyes out writing that.
Stay tuned.
YOU ARE READING
vemod | phan
Fanfictioncompleted ~~ Dan comes from an abusive home, and the bullies at school aren't much better. Just when he thought his time was up, he meets a boy named Phil and thinks that life may finally be worth living. ~~ self harm, suicide, fluff, etc. ~~ vemo...
