calm ㅣ taehyung

revelations

다섯 - five

Somi and Taehyung sat down on the carpeted floor, cross legged, facing each other. They were sitting quite close together, and both of them were completely aware of this.

The mood was different than either of them was used to. Not uncomfortable, but.. tense. Somi was nervous about being interrogated, and Taehyung knew that there was something Somi was trying to avoid talking about, which made him feel nervous as well. The curiosity was overwhelming, but Taehyung would never deliberately make Somi feel uncomfortable. He knew Somi was a private person, but he would also consider them pretty close friends at this point. However, he didn't know if their closeness was enough for her to divulge her deep secrets to him. She was a mystery he was dying to solve.

Taehyung, gentle as always, started carefully.

"How are you?" He asked with a smile. He just wanted to know. 

Somi looked shyly at him before allowing herself to return his smile. "I'm fine," she answered, before adding: "better, recently." 

"Why is that?" Taehyung automatically responded, although he could've figured it out on his own. "Um, well, because of you, I suppose." Somi stammered, embarrassed. "You've been very kind to me," she added sincerely. Taehyung's smile immediately tripled in size, his eyes forming crescent moon shapes. Somi couldn't help but smile too. I should say that more often if it makes him that happy, Somi noted. The tense mood had entirely evaporated as soon as Taehyung smiled. 

"How are you?" Somi asked, earning a chuckle from him. "Are you stealing my question?" Was his response. "You didn't answer it.. Do you know how this game works?" Somi teased, earning another laugh from him. She could do this all day if it meant she got to hear the tinkling sound of his laughter again. "You're getting sassy, Jeon Somi," Taehyung accused. "But to answer your question... I'm good. I'm also better recently." He admitted, his eye meeting hers. Somi didn't know how to respond to this, so she simply averted her eyes. She couldn't control the small smile that formed on her face, which Taehyung noticed happily. 

"Tell me about you," Taehyung said suddenly, softly. Somi looked back at him, surprised. "You know a lot about me," she pointed out. More than anyone else knows about me, she thought. "True. But I want to know more." Taehyung clarified. Somi shifted her position so she was holding her knees to her chest - a protective stance. "There's nothing really interesting about me," she insisted, but she knew it didn't matter. If Taehyung had a question, he would get the answer. "I know that's not true," Taehyung murmured, before pausing. "Alright. A new game." "New game?" Somi repeated. "Just for today. I'll ask you the questions." Taehyung explained. Somi scoffed. "You don't have to answer my questions if you don't want to. Just tell me what you want me to know." Taehyung finished, studying Somi's face to see if she approved of his new game. Her expression was blank as she considered his words, then she nodded slowly. "Okay."

There was silence as Taehyung thought carefully. 

"Can you tell me about your family?" He tested. This was an intense first question, but he really wanted to know. Somi barely talked about her family. As he suspected she might, Somi hesitated. He was surprised when she finally spoke.

"Well, I have my two parents. And my brother, Jungkook," she answered simply. She hadn't said anything Taehyung didn't already know from previous question games. He wanted more detail.

"Jungkook went to our school, right?" Taehyung remembered his name and face; Jungkook had always been called up in assemblies to receive awards. 

Somi nodded. "He finished last year. He's going to university now."

"What's he studying?" 

"He's going to be a doctor." 

"Wow."

"Yeah, I know." Somi sighed quietly, but Taehyung was observant. 

"What do you think about that? Him being a doctor?" Taehyung asked carefully. Somi bit her lip. He had hit a nerve.

"It's great. He'll be a great doctor, he's always wanted to help people," Somi answered. She spoke fondly of her brother, but there was something she wasn't saying, Taehyung concluded. 

"But why do your eyes look so sad when you say that?" Taehyung asked quietly. Somi frowned at him. "My eyes? What are you talking about?" She said defensively. "See, when you talk about things that make you happy, your eyes have this curve, right here," Taehyung explained, pointing at the outer corner of Somi's left eye. Her eyes widened at this explanation. "But when you are sad, they don't curve like that anymore. They're not curving right now," Taehyung finished, lowering his pointed finger. 

Somi didn't know what to say. Has he been paying that much attention to my eyes? How did he notice something so unimportant? Somi pondered. She felt caught out, and she could never bring herself to outright lie to him. Friends don't lie to each other, Taehyung had taught her. 

Somi sighed, defeated. "It's just... hard." She muttered vaguely. Taehyung was silent, waiting patiently for her to continue, which she did after a minute. 

"Jungkook is... so smart. He always has been. Ever since we were little. He learned to walk and talk and read and write really fast, and that was the start of it all. The whole 'child prodigy' thing." Somi paused to take a breath, but she was on a roll. She couldn't stop the words from pouring out her mouth. 

"The rest of his life was the same - him learning something, and then him quickly becoming the very best at that thing. Instruments, art, sports, academics.. especially academics. He was so... damn talented at all of it. He didn't even have to try, it's like it all came naturally to him." She was getting upset, so Taehyung held her tensed hand to calm her down. He didn't think she had even noticed until he felt her hand relax in his.

"He excelled in school, obviously. Always getting awards and things. The teachers all loved him. And then he left - went to university, moved out of my house. So I thought everything would change. I thought things would be different for me." She suddenly stopped, feeling the familiar ache in her throat that always appeared when she was trying not to cry. Taehyung ran his thumb over hers, which encouraged her to continue. 

"Since my brother was so smart, everyone kind of expected the same from me. My parents, my teachers, everyone. But I wasn't. I was never an idiot, but I kind of felt like one compared to Jungkook. I struggled in some subjects at school, I was never very good at sports... My grades have always just been average. Being compared to Jungkook was always inevitable, but it still hurt. I just lived in his shadow. Teachers would get angry at me when I don't understand something, and they'll talk about how my brother understood it easily. It's so frustrating. I'm not him, and I will never be him. I wish people would realise that," Somi finished, tears silently rolling down her cheeks. 

Taehyung wiped them away with the corner of his soft sweater sleeve. "I'm so sorry, if I had known.." he started, but Somi shook her head. "No, it's fine. I'm glad I've gotten that off my chest. I've never told anyone all that before." She admitted. 

Taehyung finished wiping her tears, and was now holding both of Somi's hands. He was running his thumbs along her fingers comfortingly, which both of them watched in silence. Although Somi was no longer crying, Taehyung didn't want to let go of her hands. "Can we just stay like this for a while?" Somi murmured, not looking away from their intertwined hands. Taehyung just smiled, his heart warm. So they stayed like that for a while.