Jumoke

8: Life must go on

Jumoke

SOMETIMES, TO LOSE weight, all you need is a misfortune. It was my seventh day in the clinic and I could already tell there was a visible difference in my body weight. Perhaps because of my loss of appetite or my excessive milk production, the pain relief I was given did little or nothing to mitigate my distress.

Slowly, my eyes swept over my room of seven days with my body regaining its sense of touch. A calloused yet familiar hand was in mine, tracing the limb to its owner led me to the handsome face of Kunle. His eyes were closed, so it gave me a chance to study him; his face was stern yet peaceful with slight wrinkles on his forehead. The past few years might not have been as kind to him as it was to me but his hard work had finally paid off.

How long had he been here?

Squeezing his hands gently, I watched as his eyes fluttered open and his lips broadened into a smile. The cold metal of a ring on his finger rubbed against mine and our gaze met, while his orbs held uncertainty, mine held happiness, joy for the fact that he did manage to move on, to settle with someone who really loved him.

The atmosphere was filled with tension so thick; you could slice it with a knife. I was happy to have him here with me and I didn't want him beating himself up for my display earlier.

"Someone is learning," I teased, laughing out loud in mirth.

When he caught on to my meaning, his shoulders visibly relaxed and he raised his palm up to stare at the simple gold band on his fourth finger, the smile on his lips mirroring mine.

"Yes, I have to." His forehead creased, his lips parted open before he added, "I'm sorry if I led you on."

"I'm sorry for shouting at you," and I really was. "It was selfish of me to think your life will be on hold for me."

He shrugged in response and the air grew ten times lighter; we could never be lovers anymore but maybe we could still remain friends. Giving him the go-ahead to press the button, we sat in silence until Dr. Luscious arrived.

"Hi, how are you feeling today?" His fingers hovered above my wrist, as if sceptical about touching me. I couldn't blame him though; I would have also been reluctant to touch the woman who accused me of baby murder.

"Fine," I replied with a smile and as if on cue, a nurse strolled in with a cart containing ice packs, leaving soon after.

The delivery of a stillbirth didn't alter my milk production, my nipples continued to leak like there was Baby Jadesola to feed. Dr. Luscious had proposed the application of ice packs or a bag of frozen peas covered in a light cloth or cabbage leaves to the breasts to get relief from the discomfort and to suppress the breastmilk. So far, it was working but it wouldn't be until a few more weeks before it stopped.

"Can I give it out instead?" I asked in a small voice. The idea had occurred to me after I woke up from the medically induced coma that lasted 72 hours; we had hoped it would delay my body's milk production but it had only done the opposite.

Kunle coughed, shifting uncomfortably in his seat; for a moment, I had forgotten he was here. Biting the insides of my cheeks to keep from laughing at his comical expression, I mouthed an insincere sorry to him.

"You can donate it to motherless babies' home, it would go a long way in helping those who have lost their mothers." He handed the ice pack to me, not bothering with the instructions because it was one I had heard too often.

"If you decide to go ahead with the donation then you will be saving so many lives." He paused at the door, his eyes flickering from me to Kunle, "either way, you are a very strong woman."