The Girl and the Traitor

Chapter 3: Rey

I exit the flashback as I look at the very same stars as I viewed with hope nine years ago. It's hard to believe that what I dreamed about for so many years has finally come true. I didn't want anything fancy, like millions of credits or all of the riches in the galaxy. All I wanted was for someone, anyone, to come back for me. And someone did.  Finn.

Stars were my only escape from a hard life on Jakku. Now, once again, stars are a relief for my brain.  Luke cannot sense my thoughts at night, so I allow my brain and heart to work as one. In the day, I would never dream. But at night..... Well. That's different. 

My thoughts always stray to Finn, this boy who changed my life in so many ways. When he showed up into my life, everything changed. Sure, I might have attacked him at first. But when he held my hand, that was the first physical contact with a human that I can remember.  Sure, I acted like I didn't like it, but I have to admit, I kind of enjoyed it.  The man who gave me so much that I never had before may not survive his hibernation. It's terrifying to think about his death, but I have thought of plenty of scenarios in which he survives.  It feels me with bliss to think of them. But I can't help but feel guilty for what I've concocted in my head. Finn just thinks of me as a friend, and I'm training to be a Jedi.  I can't have love, and if I did Luke would abandon me for sure.  Having a man would weaken me as well, which I surely don't want.  I attempt to convince myself that I cannot and do not love him. I try to enjoy the few hours of darkness and peace I have left.

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I awake to beautiful sunrise, which I wasn't expecting.  I must have fallen asleep in the grass last night! Running frantically back to my house to get ready for the next day, I clear my mind of any risky thoughts.  I brace myself for whatever might come next, and strive to work hard today to ensure more time to think tomorrow.

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"Good, good.  Clear your mind.  That's it." Luke says softly, his shockingly blue eyes penetrating my skull.  I like blue eyes, but brown eyes are better.  Like Finn's..... But that's off topic. 

I'm upside down in a handstand, concentrating hard.  The waves crashing into the shore help me to focus.  Luke insists that I clear my mind further, in order to see beyond.  It takes me a couple of tries, but I eventually manage to see mist in my mind.  I mentally push through the swirling water droplets, and come across an image.  Pushing a little farther, I enter the picture. It's just like I'm actually there.

General Leia Organa is quietly looking at Finn, who looks no better than when I last saw him.  The cuts on his face seem to have healed, but he's clearly not much better off than before. 

He's in a tank of Bacta, wearing nothing but shorts and an air mask. 

My heart skips a beat.  I can't say I've seen that many topless dudes, but Finn looks really good.  His upper body is strong and solid, his muscles rippling as he breathes....

I quickly push that frightening thought out of my head and shudder.  What would Luke think if he was reading my mind right now?

Leia looks at the doctor.  "This Bacta seems to be helping him."

The doctor looks down sadly.  "I only wish that this stuff lasted a little longer.  This is my last tank of it, and it should stop healing within the hour."

Just to prove this, a sensor goes off and alerts the doctor that the Bacta has stopped healing. It's useless goo now.  They pull Finn out, and put him on a stretcher right in front of me.  I try to touch him, but my hand goes through him just like air.  It's so real, I almost forgot this was a vision.