The Girl and the Traitor

Chapter 4: Finn

Hey, people!
Oh my gosh, so sorry that I haven't updated in so long.  School kind of limits my writing time.  *groans*.  Anyways, enjoy!  I'll try to start posting again on a regular schedule when I can:) Thanks for your patience!

Memories float in and out of my grasp, along with random phrases that I've heard over the years. It's never the same, but my brain and heart always seem to go back to one subject.

Rey.

She first appeared as nothing more than a hardened, headstrong woman with no interest in anything. She hit me with a metal staff and yelled at me. Yet something about her seemed different, like that she hadn't lost all of her childish innocence. Her brown eyes, though shooting daggers at me, sparkled with curiosity and naïvety. I was drawn to her, despite her ferocity.

And when I told her I was with the Resistance, oh, I knew it was a lie. But she looked at me with such awe and reverence, I couldn't tell the truth. The headstrong girl faded slightly when she gave me a heartwarming smile.

When I finally did, her eyes filled with regret and sorrow. My heart broke into pieces when looking upon her sad face. I couldn't stand it. I had to leave. She called me out for being a coward and leaving BB-8, but at that moment I didn't care. I wanted to leave my past behind, and now that she knew the truth, she'd hate me. But she didn't.

While I watched Hosnian Prime be destroyed, I realized I couldn't leave. The First Order was evil, and that's why I left. I had to help the Resistance destroy them. Plus, I needed to see Rey again. But when I reached Han Solo, Rey was gone. Kylo Ren carried her, unconscious, into captivity. I ran, heartbroken, to the ship, where Rey was inside. I screamed her name, but she was gone. The only person I've ever cared about slipped through my fingers.

I went to get her, but it turned out that I was pretty useless. She escaped on her own, which I have yet to understand. But her eyes teared up to hear that I had come to rescue her. When she hugged me, I smiled wider than I ever had before. My body still tingles from her touch. She whispered "thank you" with so much emotion, I nearly cried. In that moment, I was so proud and jubilant. The headstrong girl was gone, replaced by a softer, kinder one.

And then the unthinkable happened.

"Thank you." Ben Solo whispers, the fiery blade piercing his father's heart. Rey beside me screams, crying in agony. This can't be happening.

And then he falls, slowly, angelically, into the endless abyss.

"NO!!!!" Rey screams. Tears are streaming down her face. I'm crying as well, but for a different reason. Not just Han Solo. His death alone wouldn't reduce me to total shambles.

It's the way that Rey reacts.

They say that it isn't the death that kills you, but the reaction of their loved ones. And I wholly understand that now. My heart aches as she yells in fury and shoots hopelessly at the stormtroopers below. Her eyes are wild, and I so desperately need to touch her, to hold her, and make her pain go away. She was the first person that ever cared about me. It's only fair that I would do the same to her.

Then Kylo Ren looks up at where we are, recognizing us immediately. The anger in his face is terrifying, and I know he's coming for us. I grab Rey's hand, to lead her away, but she doesn't budge. She keeps shooting wildly. I softly and carefully grab her around the waist from behind, half dragging, half carrying her down the ladder.