The Nerd Is In the Military

9

"So. What was the top tweet about the next video?" I asked Nathaniel as we sat at his house, in his room. We finished the project on Wednesday and will write the essays on Friday. 

"It was, the smoothie challenge and reacting to hate comments." He said. 

"How about we do the smoothie first and then the hate comments next week?" I offered. 

"But I don't want any hate directed towards you." He said, kissing my forehead. 

"I don't care really. We could do you r comments and mine." I said. "But I still want to do the smoothie challenge first." 

"Alright. Lets go to the store then." He stood up from the bed and extended his hand to me, helping me get up. 

We drove his BMW to the store, where we picked ten yummy things and ten disgusting things. Or at least things that will not taste good in a smoothie. Plus some snacks. 

"That will be $30.75." The guy at the cash register said. He looked up at Nathaniel and then to me, sending me a wink. I glared at him and he turned back to Nathaniel. Nathaniel swiped his card and we both collected the bags and left the store. 

"That guy winked at you. WINKED!" Nathaniel said as we drove down the road. 

"And I gave him my best death glare and trust me, those even send my 25 year old brother running for the hills. And my brother's appearance itself makes people shit their pants."  I said

"Your brother can't be that bad." He scoffed. 

"Wait until you see him. A slight warning though, he will interrogate you. And it is scary. He did that to my cousin's boyfriend. He had the most scared expression on his face." I grinned at the memory.

"Well, guess what. Not even the scariest of brothers and parents can separate you and I." He leaned over to peck my lips while we were standing at the red light. 

We finally arrived back at Nathaniel's cozy little house. 

It is a small one story house. With a grey roof and soft grey wooded outside walls. It also has a two car garage. 

The inside of the house fir two rooms, one master bedroom, the other was the guest room. The master bedroom was the farthest away from the door and had an attached bathroom and closet. The door opened right into the kitchen and then when you walk straight there is a living room and dining area. There is also a door to the backyard. 

We walk into the house and go straight to the kitchen and unpack the bags. 

"So I will write the names of the ingredients on the paper and put them in a bowl while you set up the table." I Told Nathaniel to which he nodded and took out the blender meanwhile I cut a piece of paper into a half, then each half into tenths. I wrote the names of each ingredient on the paper, cringing at the bad ones. "This will be one hell of a smoothie." I muttered as I wrote down all the gross stuff. 

"Okay, are we ready?" 

"Yes we are." I saluted Nathaniel.

"Okay, I'll go set up the camera. Can you get the shot glasses?" 

"Sure." I turned towards the glass cabinet and took out two tall shot glasses, setting them on the counter just as Nathan set the camera on the camera stand, holder thing. 

"Hello there ladies and gentlemen. I am here today with my beautiful, amazing and lovely girlfriend who agreed to do this challenge with me-"

"Bialr." I said my name, twisting it in a weird way. "And this is Leinahtan." 

"My girlfriend Bialr. And I am Leinahtan Jay Cruz and you are watching the smoothie challenge. With my girlfriend." He pecked the side of my head. "So we ran to the store, and we got some very delicious and very unappetizing products and they are..."

"Hershey's chocolate syrup."  

"Caramel"

"Eddy's cookies and cream ice cream"

"Bananas."

"Snickers"

"Blackberries"

"Raspberries"

"Pretzels"

"Condensed milk. It is actually really tasty. It is not as bad as it sounds."

"And the last but not least tasty object is, kiwi." Nathaniel finished. "And now the bad ones, or at least the ones we wouldn't want to get in our smoothies are..."

"Salmon"

"Tomatoes"

"Ginger"

"Pickled garlic"

"Teriyaki sauce." 

"Turkey slices"

"Peppers"

"Edamame." 

"Mayonnaise" 

"And Bean boozeled jelly beans. Why are they bad? Because you can get barf, or rotten egg, or skunk spray in your smoothie." Nathaniel explained. "So. Let's begin. We will draw one at the same time and then when we are done we will make each other's smoothies." 

We started taking out the ingredients and when we were done this is what happened;

Nathaniel had: jelly beans, tomatoes, edamame, peppers, teriyaki sauce, Hershey's chocolate syrup, pretzels, salmon, condensed milk and snickers. 

I had: Pickled garlic, mayonnaise, turkey slices, ginger, ice cream, caramel, raspberries, blackberries, kiwi, and bananas.

"So, Blair got most of the good ones, and I got most of the bad ones, and she will make my smoothie first." He gestured to me. 

"So i will put a handful of jelly beans, two grape tomatoes, a handful of edamame, one little pepper, one spoonful of salmon."

"Eww, that salmon fucking stinks I can smell it over here." Nathaniel made a gagging noise.

"It does. Smells like tuna. But anyways, a drop of teriyaki sauce, or two, or three, there it is." 

"Ughh that is too much." He groaned.

"Oh shut up you cry baby." I kissed him and then turned back to the blender. " HALF the pack of snickers bites, handful of pretzels, lets get that Hershey's syrup in there and then the condensed milk." I blended it together and it made a soft brown color. I filled up the shot glass then we washed the blender and he started making my smoothie. 

"So two pieces of garlic with some of the juice, yumm, not. Eww this shit stinks. Lets get that mayonnaise in there." He said as he put a Mount. fucking Everest of mayonnaise into the blender. "two slices of turkey. one piece of ginger, not like four giant scoops of ice cream, caramel, half of the blackberries and raspberries, a whole kiwi and half a banana." 

"You know bananas are good for these smoothies because if you put a lot of it then you will taste the banana mostly." I said. Nathan started to blend the smoothie and it came out almost a grey color. He poured it into the shot glass and then we raised our glasses up. 

"Cheers" We said at the same time and drunk the substances. 

This. Tastes. Horrible. I spit it out and then started gulping down a bottle of water trying to get out the taste of mayonnaise, garlic, and ginger out of my mouth. 

"Oh my god this tastes horrible." Nathan gasped. "Well, this was terrible, don't try this unless you want to die and see you next time. Bye!"