Unexpected

Chapter 9: His choice

~I'm gonna be the one to hold you when you're scared and when you're cold! And I'm gonna be the light to save you in the dark and bring you home! If all of your walls caved in on you and all your defences can't protect you! Then I'm gonna be the one to catch you when you fall!~

A silenc filled the room. I had stopped sobing and was now just taking in his mecmerizing smell. Max was stroking my haid and my back, comforting me as much as he could. But the fear never left.

Is he going to leave me now? Is he going to hate me, resent me?

If he was...then I wouldn't stop him from leaving. I wouldn't try to convince him to not hate me. It was his deciction and I had nothing to do with that, I couldn't decide for him.

The little candle was still burning, the small fire light up the room. A fire with the power to burn, destroy whatever it want. The fire that for me reprisented life, it will always cease. Life always has it's end and there is nothing we can do about it, we can't stop anyone from dying and we can't stop the fire from going out.

Suddenly Maxs body shifted and I was met by his gentle brown eyes. His stare was deeper and tore through my soul, He was seeing the whole me, not just the shell. His eyes showed so much emotion, looking into the deepth of me.

''You're still here. You're still standing on your feet.'' his voice was soft as he spoke.

I starred confused at him.

''You went through all that and you're still standing, you're still breathing. You're still strong. You're still here. You're the strongest person I've ever met. I'm so honored to even know you. I'm honored to even be near you.''

''I'm nothing to be honored about. I'm nothing to be proud of. I'm not strong and I'm barley standing on my own two feet. I'm weak.''

I felt his arms hug me tighter when he heard my words. I couldn't bare myself to look him in the eyes as I spoke, my eyes landed on the fire once again.

''That's a lie. You're not weak, you're stronger then anyone I've ever known. You're standing tall with no help at all.''

His words had me starstruck, his words was so sincere. I felt my heart swell in my chest, but I couldn't deny the truth and the truth was that  he had his way with words. He didn't mean a thing of the words he said. His way with words had girls crawling by his feet. He couldn't mean what he said, I'm not any of those things.

"You're not a bad liar but I can still see through your charade. You don't have to lie to make me feel better, Max."

Suddenly his hand cupped my cheek, his skin was so warm against mine. Tilting my head up to look me in the eye. I was still scared to meet his stare but I felt like I owed him to at least look at him.

To my suprise his eyes were shocked but still warm and soft, his eyes weren't judgmental like I thought they would be. He held my stare in his. I felt warm as he stroke my cheek, tears still covering my cheeks.

"I would never lie to you, believe me. Why would I lie about something serious like this?" He spoke in soft but hurt words. He was hurt cause I thought he was lying.

I couldn't answer him. I broke our stare, looking down on my fingers. His hand fell of my cheek and I felt cold without it.

I gathered everything that was left of my courage and looked into his eyes, taking a deep breath.

"Are you going to leave now?" my voice was weak, I sounded like I was 5 again.

His eyes changed into complete confusion. Afraid to hear the answer I got out of his crip and got out of my bed. I had no ide where I was going, I just walked to my closet and started to fold my clothes.

I didn't want to look at him when he answer. I didn't want to look at him when he was going to leave me. I could feel him staring on my back, it felt like he was burning a hole on my back into my heart. But there was something...It felt strange...It fel like, I don't even know...It felt good...It felt good that he was watching me even when I had my back turned to him. I felt save for some odd reason. I don't know why I felt that way, but it was scary.