Losers Never Win

Chapter 8

At 10:01pm, Cain stood in the clean kitchen of this group home. He pulled off his tight, latex gloves and flung them in the trash. Kitchen duty wasn’t a joke, but Cain made short work of it. Back when he stayed with his parent’s, his mom would make him clean up all the time.

            Cain stretched his arms to the sky and yawned. It’s been a long day and his body cried for sleep. But first, he had to have a quick smoke. For some strange reason, Cain couldn’t sleep soundly unless he had a cigarette.

            He walked up the stairs to his bedroom, ignoring the racket that came from his housemates. Cain somehow managed to stay out of trouble so far. He figured if he didn’t talk or interact with the others then everything would be good, which proved to be true. Cain swung open the door to his room and staggered inside. He went ahead and changed clothes, putting on some sweat pants and a tank top.

            After grabbing his pack of cigarettes, Cain headed for the stairway. Since it’s after 10:00pm, it would be breaking the rules for him to go outside. Technically, smoking cigarettes under eighteen was breaking the rules, but Cain didn’t care. To him, that just meant he had to smoke elsewhere, and he knew just the place.

            Creeping up the stairs, Cain made it to the top floor and gently opened the door. He didn’t want to make too much noise and alert Mr. Tony. The second he got completely outside he stuck a cigarette in his mouth and lit it up. He walked around the rooftop, blowing out the smoke that entered his lungs. His nerves began to relax, until he heard somebody coughing.

            Cain’s eyes narrowed as the coughing continued. He crouched down and looked around him, wondering where the noise was coming from. As it continued Cain was able to pin point the location. He quietly snuck to a tall air conditioning unit that was planted on the roof. Cain got behind the unit and glanced around it. He was shocked at what he saw.

            Serena was sitting on the ground, curled in fetal position. She let out another cough and stared at Cain. The pupils of her eyes were constricted and she smelled like sour vinegar. Although the expression on her face was blank, Serena recognized who stood in front of her.

            “…Cain…” she said in a raspy voice.

            “Wha… Serena? What you doin’?” Cain knelt down to her side, not knowing what to do. He put his hand on her arm, feeling how cool her body temperature had gotten. “Serena you aight?”

            “Yea… I’m, perfect,” she replied. Cain looked at her shivering body and shook his head. He recognized the scent that stained her clothes. It was that of heroin, which he was no stranger too. He had an uncle who was addicted to heroin; so seeing Serena like this was disappointing. 

            Cain read the lost expression on Serena’s face and took a seat next to her. He knew how long the high could last, and was willing to wait it out. Serena was so far gone that she leaned on Cain’s shoulder. He sighed and put his arm around her, rubbing her back gently.

            Part of Cain questioned why he was doing this; showing such strong concern for someone he didn’t know. But deep inside he knew the answer to the question. Empathy and pity, two emotions he wasn’t fond of. Serena coughed a little and unknowingly snuggled closer to him.

            About an hour later, Serena’s high had faded completely, and she opened her eyes. For some strange reason she felt warm, comfortable, and safe; something that she hasn’t felt in years. She let out a tired yawn before realizing someone had their arm around her. Serena jumped to her feet in a heartbeat and spotted Cain before her.

            “wha-what are you…” Serena paused in mid sentence; a vague memory of Cain entered her mind. She rubbed her eyes surprised to know that what she thought was a dream, was real. Cain actually did sit next to her. “How did you find me here?”

            Cain scratched his head as he slowly got to his feet. “I came out to take a smoke when I heard someone coughin’. Come to find out, it was you,” he explained.

            Serena cleared her throat, folding her arms. A mix of emotions dashed up her spine. She was embarrassed that someone found her like this, and angry but yet glad that Cain stayed with her.

            Serena wiped her eyes. “Look, this is weird. I…”

            “Why do you do it?” Cain interrupted, staring at her. Serena looked like she didn’t know what he was talking about.

            “Do what?” she asked.

            “Use heroin?” Cain answered. “Why do you do it?”

            “I don’t use Heroin!” Serena lied, getting defensive.

            “I know that scent from anywhere,” Cain replied. He got closer to Serena, making her take a step back. “You aint gotta lie to me.”

            Serena jerked her head away from Cain, scrunching her face up. “What’s your problem!” She shouted. “I don’t even know you; and you don’t know me. Why don’t you just leave me alone?” Cain lowered his eyes, glaring at the cement roof.

            “Because… I can’t,” Cain told her. He raised his head and locked eyes with Serena. The two stood there staring at each other in cool silence.

            “… Why?” She wondered, changing her demeanor from angry, to sensitive and curious.

            Cain clenched his teeth preparing himself to tell her the truth. “When I look at you . . . I see me,” he confessed. “I see how I was when I was a little’.”

            Serena tensed up, not knowing how to feel about what he said. “Quit lyin’,” she snapped, trying to brush off the impact of his words. “Quit actin’ like you care…”

            “I do,” Cain replied.

            Serena shook her head in disbelief. Making herself think he was lying. “No you don’t,” her voice was filled with conflicting emotion and she tilted her head to the ground, looking tearful. “No one does,” she mumbled.

            Cain gently placed his hand under her chin, raising her head back up. “I do,” he calmly repeated, looking deep into her pained eyes. The resistance Serena built up in her loosened, and a single tear ran down the side of her face. Cain used his finger to wipe away her tear.

            Serena didn’t know what to think. She blinked lightly as Cain released his hand from her and walked away. Part of her wanted to call out to him, but she just couldn’t bring herself to do it. So she stood there quietly and watched as he headed back inside the building.