She dreams of Golden Hope

Sweet Flower

"I ne'er was struck before that hour with love so sudden and so sweet, Her face it bloomed like a sweet flower and stole my heart away complete. My face turned pale as deadly pale. My legs refused to walk away, and when she looked, what could I ail? My life and all seemed turned to clay."- First Love, John Clare

He stepped out of the dark shadow the trolls' cave threw on the ground. He stood quietly for a moment and took a deep breath in hopes of dispelling the foul, putrid stench that prevailed in his nostrils from his time spent in the trolls' dark and concealed hideout. His uncle Thorin and Gandalf had realized that the trolls'd had to have a hide out this far to the south, and since they could not move in the daylight. So, in acquiescence to their leader's demands, they had spent the morning searching for the cave and had found it about two miles east from the clearing the trolls had tried to eat them in.

Enjoying the contrast of breathing in the crisp and humid scent of the forest rather than being smothered with the smell of foul decay that had prevaded in the trolls' cave, he let his eyes roam over his surroundings and, in an unconscious defensive mechanism, he let his hand rest on the hilt of his sword. Always be alert to any danger and be prepared to fight any hazard that comes your way, never allow yourself to be put in a vulnerable position. That is what his uncle had taught him ever since he had been strong enough to be able to hold a sword. He was no fool, he knew exactly that for him the purpose of this quest did not only lie in recovering his rightful halls, but that it was a way to prove himself to Thorin, to show his uncle that he had absorbed his education, that he could be a leader as rightful and fierce, as his uncle. Additionally, he knew that Thorin was watching him carefully on this journey and was seeing whether he would act and prove himself a leader. Of course, his uncle watched every member of the company closely, yet him most of all. Him, Thorin's eldest nephew, whom he had, since earliest childhood, groomed to be a leader. The one he expected... demanded... maturity and level-headedness from.

So, Fili was plagued with responsibility, and it sprung not only from his uncle's careful scrutiny, but also because his little brother, had decided to join their uncle's company. His little brother, who was simultaneously his best friend, whom he had taught to sword fight, when a small, doe-eyed Kili had come up to him and had complained that their uncle only focused on Fili and paid him the most attention. His little brother, who he loved more than anything else, whom their mother had only allowed to go on the Erebor quest reluctantly. Fili knew that he had to keep an eye on his little brother and he was fearful of allowing Kili to be exposed to the hazards they would likely face on this journey. He knew that the trolls had been one of the more harmless dangers. Yet, still the company had been captured and only out of a stroke of luck had they not ended up as the trolls' dinner. It had been his and Kili's fault that they had gotten captured. Perhaps the burglar's as well, but he had been able to redeem himself by diverting the trolls' attention until Gandalf had arrived and saved them. After that his painful knowledge had only been once more confirmed. The knowledge that he was not a natural born and inspiring leader as his uncle. His uncle, who radiated silent authority and inspired loyalty without any ardous efforts. The man that everyone seemed in awe of. Who every single member of the company had fearful respect of and who no one dared to cross or question.

No one except one that is, Fili thought. As that train of thought crossed his mind, he felt his lips twist into a wide and affectionate grin and his eyes immediately came to rest upon the fiery hobbit girl, who Fili had become so fond of since that night in Bag End. She was not scared to show Thorin Oakenshield what she thought of him and his self-assuredness at times. Who had not been deterred that evening of the council to admonish his uncle, the rightful king under the mountain, when he had shown an atricious lack of courtesy and manners toward her cousin, in her opinion. Who had surprised him so greatly when she had called out his uncle, not deterred even when she surely had grasped due to the solemnity and respect that had oozed off every dwarf, that Thorin Oakenshield was a figure of respect amongst their race. Yet his shock had soon morphed to amusement. He had been amused and admittedly slightly awestruck, that this girl who had appeared so fragile and delicate to him had proved to possess such a fiery spirit. It was not that she was disrespectful. No, Fili could see that she did recognize his uncle's authority and his station and treated him with the correct amount of respect that was a leader's due, but she refused to be submissive, she was not deterred to speak her mind. Even after Fili had told her on the first day's ride that Thorin was the rightful king under the mountain and for a few seconds her eyes had widened almost comically, before she had gotten a contemplative look on her face and then pursed her lips and shrugged her shoulders almost imperceptibly. He'd had to resist the urge to snort aloud then, because he knew without asking, that she had been reflecting on her behaviour toward his uncle during their first meeting and their confrontation and he had found it refreshing that she had not regretted or dreaded her actions, even after discovering that Thorin was king and part of the line of Durin. Fili knew that she meant no disrespect, she only wanted to be treated fairly and would not tolerate that she and her cousin were handled unjustly, only because of the fact that they were hobbits. And her fiery and tigerish temper amused him. It surprised him; even now, especially after last night when she had saved Bombur's life, by claiming that the dwarves were infected with parasites and she had stood her ground against the trolls.