Still-Born Shout [#wattys2017]

Chapter Five

When the peace council adjourned, the Dragonborn was throughly satisfied with what she had done. She had wanted to begin to cripple Tullius, at the negotiating table instead of in action. He voiced his displeasure with her as soon as Jarl Ulfric and his housecarl left the room. Afterwards, the remaining few of them had discussed the process for trapping a dragon. Esbern told her the words to the Shout that would call Odaviing.

She was glad to be leaving when the time came. She wished that she could return to Paarthurnax and tell him everything, but she had to return Septimus' Lexicon. Then it would be on to Whiterun, to call Odaviing. Perhaps she could stop at Jorrvaskr, too.

"Dragonborn, wait," she heard as she left the chamber. She turned to see Delphine, with Esbern in tow. She had a grave look on her face. Sif remained silent.

"We know you've been talking with Paarthurnax," Delphine began in a condescending tone. She hoped to arouse a guilty feeling from Sif, but her hopes were in vain. Sif did not yet know the meaning of guilt. She cleared her throat and continued. "And we've come to tell you that we cannot help you any further until Paarthurnax is dead."

Sif inhaled sharply. To kill Paarthurnax? That would be something she couldn't do, even if her life depended on it. She wanted to jump to his defense. She decided that she wouldn't do it. If Delphine and Esbern wanted Paarthurnax dead, they could kill him on their own.

"I suppose we part ways," Sif said quietly, shrugging a bit as she pulled her cowl tighter across her face. Delphine narrowed her eyes.

"You won't do it?" she asked. Sif nodded. Her eyes became slits. "Then we have nothing more to say to you. We'll be waiting at Sky Haven Temple if you change your mind."

"I won't," Sif whispered as the two old Blades left the monastery. She wasn't far behind them. She enjoyed the solitude of High Hrothgar, but sometimes it became too much. After the council, she truly wanted to be alone.

Before she could return the Lexicon to Septimus, she decided to return to Dawnstar. It was on the way to Winterhold, and she knew that Nazir was probably waiting for her so they could finally complete the contract on the Emperor of Tamriel. Rikke, too, would be expecting her return to Solitude. There was still the issue of the Jagged Crown. Once she arrived back in Ivarstead, she called Shadowmere and they began their journey.

The ride was not at all dangerous, nor was it incredibly cold. She had kept quite a few furs for herself after eliminating the occasional wolf or bear that crossed her path, and with them she had made a heavy, hooded cloak. It kept her very warm on her northern excursions, so much so that she occasionally had to put the hood down or undo the top clasp for a fresh breath of icy wind.

She rode without stopping. As she came into the Pale, she suddenly thought of Vittoria Vici. Killing her was so incredibly easy. Killing was so incredibly easy. It's almost routine for me to take someone's like, Sif thought to herself. No part of me has ever cared for anything but protection, vengeance, and destruction.

She supposed that being protective wasn't all that bad, but that was the closest thing she had felt to an actual kinship. Perhaps Paarthurnax was her friend? No. She protected him, perhaps she even felt responsible for him, but he was her mentor. She was nothing more than a curious student. She would protect him, though; she would have the heads of Delphine and Esbern if they tried anything.

She used the secret entrance to the Sanctuary and found Babette, who immediately took her to Nazir. The place was bustling with new recruits. They vowed their allegiance to her as she passed. Nazir was glad to see her. He clasped her shoulder, just as Jarl Balgruuf had done, all those months ago.

"Where have you been, friend?" he asked, with a smile on his face. "It's been a few weeks, but it feels like years. Are you ready to complete the contract?"