The day rolls by as does most of Tuesday. I meet up with Claire and Aaron after school, and we drive in Claire’s car to get fro-yo. It’s a cold, stormy day and I don’t have much to say, but Claire makes up for that with a lot of talking. I contribute when I need, but I feel like words just won’t come to me, I freeze up and, consequently, am accidentally rude. Aaron is quiet, but I can tell he’s really smart, and funny when the situation suits it.
Claire has a complex personality, it’s hard for me to read her. I know that she’s kind yet opinionated, with a genuine sense of humor and a fast-paced mind. Maybe a little too fast-paced for me. She chatters along while she drives, occasionally forgetting her thoughts and breaking off the conversation. She quickly re-establishes the flowing stream of her words, which hit my ears, only a few of them actually entering and registering in my brain. She's what I would classify, if my life were a TV show or movie, as the sidekick or best friend of the main character, whose lines are written to compliment the main character, being a much different personality type.
Aaron interjects occasionally in the discussion, and when I feel the need, I do too. I’m exhausted from school and not in a conversational mood, but the car ride isn’t long, and it is enjoyable to have a person, an actual person talking to me.
I also can't deny that Aaron's attractive. His chiseled muscles show through his Ramones t-shirt, and his skin is tanned, his face boyish yet handsome. He's not so different from other boys in school though, and I convince myself that I won't think about him in that way, hoping he won't reciprocate.
What am I thinking? Why would I even include that thought? He'd never feel that way about me! I'm sure he already has a girlfriend, and even if he doesn't, he has plenty of other options. I'm sure I'm the very last person on his "ever find attractive" list. I'm sure I'm last on everybody's lists of people they find attractive. Which I'm fine with, to a certain extent. I wonder about love and if it's worth it.
I realize that I am spacing out and Claire's voice brings me out of it, and I nod, hoping she wasn't asking a question. I realize that she's informing me that we are at the magical place where one acquires fro-yo. Once Claire parks we all unbuckle and hop out, the sound of our doors collectively slamming carrying across the parking lot. We meander inside and start sampling flavors. The coldness hurts my teeth and I find it hard to choose. I feel pressured and tell myself to calm down. It's just frozen yogurt, no reason to have a panic attack. No one is even touching me. I enforce these thoughts as I sample the flavors again, finally deciding on one. I grab a cup and fill it about halfway full and pile toppings. Aaron passes me and then turns. "here, I can pay for you." I feel my cheeks burning and I shake my head awkardly. "N-no, it's okay." I try to smile, wanting to turn invisible. "Nah, I'm serious." he takes the cup out of my hand, and before I can protest, puts it on the scale with his and Claire's. He smiles at me, and I can tell my cheeks are as red as a firetruck.
We sit down and enjoy our fro-yo, talking and laughing. I feel my control on my tounge and my thoughts slipping. It's a terrifying yet exhilarating feeling, but I still try to keep my hold on myself. I tell myself to say slightly closed-off.
After a while, we decide to head come, and Claire and Aaron and I get in the car. I panic when Claire asks me where i live so she can drop me off. "Um," I say, thinking of a way to get out of this. I decide to tell her to drop me off five minutes away from where I live, still close enough to walk, but still an OK part of town.
We reach my "house" and I get out, thanking both Aaron and Claire. I pretend to go around the back, getting my keys. I wait until I hear the car drive off. Then I sprint away and keep going until I reach my front door. I notice my mother's car and someone else's. I don't want to know.
I gently open the door, trying not to make a sound, and I slip upstairs. I flop on my bed and lie there for a moment. I then decide to work on homework. I keep getting distracted about all the little tiny details of the evening. Aaron's smiles, his thoughts and words, all the little things about him, and I flop my face down on my textbook. I stop those thoughts and tell myself that he's simply a high school boy, an attractive one at that, and he probably has tons of girls who like him. And guys don't fit into my life right now.
I try to work more on school, but get distracted by the thought of my painting. I get out all my paint stuff and put on messy clothes. I work for a while, my movements becoming so fluid and smooth that I don't even have to think about what I'm doing. I just go with the literal flow of my arms and my thoughts as I finish the beautiful scene on the canvas. I sit down, my hands and arms covered in paint, but I look at the painting and am satisfied. I decide to go to the bathroom and wash off my hands. I work on homework for a few hours until the growling of my stomach can't be ignored. I head downstairs and scrounge around in the fridge. I look at the kitchen clock and am amazed to see it's after 1 in the morning. As if by power of suggestion, I feel my eyelids growing heavy as I grab my food, a spoon, and run up the stairs to my room.
I fall asleep before I can eat a bite.
The next day, school comes all too early, or I am all too late. In a hurry, I throw on a loose flannel shirt and some skinny jeans, throwing books in my backpack and running out of the house. I sling the backpack on my back and start speed-walking, cursing myself for not setting my alarm.
Once I reach school, I try to dash into class, but I run into Aaron, who is obviously late as well. "Sorry!" He says, before seeing that it's me. "Oh, hey Zoe." He bends to pick up his backpack. "Hi Aaron." He smiles and seems to forget that we're both late. "well, sorry, I uh, gotta run." I say, dashing down the halls until I find my classroom and slip in, sitting down right as everyone gets their books out.
From my seat in the back of the class, I gaze at the board and occasionally take notes, my mind still running like a hamster on a wheel after being late.
By the time I'm ready for Chemistry, I'm feeling sluggish and unenthusiastic about chemical formulas and elements, though Claire shows none of that as she pats the seat next to her. I sit down with a sigh. "Hey!" she says cheerfully. "Hiya." I smile weakly. "Ughh. Sooo not looking forward to work today." I complain. "How come?" Claire asks, her face cloudy. "Well, mostly I don't want to walk, but oh well, whatever pays." "We could drive you!" I shake my head, feeling flustered as I reply. "Naw, i-it's okay, I'm used to walking." Claire smiles and I know she's not taking no for an answer. "Nope, we'll drive you." She has a sneaky smirk on her face and only God knows what she's planning. "Claire, I really don't want to make you, I can walk. Really. It's fine. I-I promise." she shakes her head, still with that sly look on her face. "Wh-what are you thinking?" Right then, our teacher starts droning on about advanced Chemistry subject matter and Claire gives me another look, as if to say "ha, ha! Not telling!" I retaliate with a raise of my eyebrow and a look that says "Really? Childish."
____________________________________________________
Well hello people! Sorry this chapter is shorter than the other one, I've been having difficulties finding time to write, and I felt bad making you wait longer... I know that this one is a bit tedious, but I'm hoping to move along with the plot and get to some good stuff. :)
