After school, Claire basically drags me into her car and buckles me in the shotgun. Aaron sits in the backseat, in a fairly talkative mood.
By the time we arrive at my work, i'm still about twenty minutes early, so Claire parks and we chat for a while. Talking about dogs and hobbies and we somehow get to fears. "I'm afraid of scarecrows." Claire states quietly. "What about you?" Aaron asks. "Um, well," I chew on my lip. "I sort of have the phobia of touching another person..." I look down at my ripped jeans and threadbare Elixr flannel. "Like, just touching at all, or, uhh, like, sexually?" Claire asks casually. "No, just physical contact in general... It's super weird but I'm used to it I guess." I feel my cheeks growing warm as I pluck a few threads. I don't want to recall the tramatic experience that sparked my fear. "Hmm. Interesting." I look up to see Aaron smiling slightly. I try to avoid his eyes and let some of my hair fall in my face. . "Aaron, tell her about yours." Claire says childishly. "Nooo." He laughs and covers his face in his hands. "C'mon, what is it?" I can't help but ask. "Soup." "What?" "I'm afraid of soup." He laughs. "You have to be kidding me! Why are you afraid of soup?" I inquire, perplexed.. "It just freaks me out."
We talk for a bit longer until a few minutes before my shift starts. I thank Claire for the ride as I hop out of the car, running in. I dash to the bathroom and pull out work clothes from my backpack, changing as quickly as possible.
Once my shift is over I try to speed walk home, hoping to escape the oncoming snow storm. I reach home and see some man sitting on the couch. I can tell my mom's in the kitchen and I take a deep breath as I step through the door.
The man turns to look at me and then stands up. "Darlene, this your kid?" He calls to my mom in the kitchen. She steps out, and I can tell she's incredibly inebriated by the way she walks. "Yes. Honey, introduce yourself to Max." I roll my eyes. "Zoe. I'm Zoe." I start to walk towards the stairs when my mom calls out. "Did I say you were excused? Stay down here for a while." "I have homework." "It can wait." Her eyes seem to say "Challenge me, see what I'll do to you." I slide my backpack off my shoulders. "Fine." I notice that my mom turned the heat on."Max" must be an important or well-paying guy. I stalk over to the living room and plop myself on the crappy coffee table. "I'm going to go finish making our drinks." My mom says as she stands up. I want to tell her not to leave, but I know the results wouldn't be good.
"Zoe, how old are you?" Max asks. "Seventeen." I make sure to say this with a death look and a tone that says "Get out." Just to make him nice and comfy in my house. "Come, sit here with me." He pats the seat next to me. I shake my head and he reaches out, grabbing my wrist painfully tightly. " Ow! Get off!" I say, trying to yank my wrist out of his hand in a downward motion. My chest constricts, and my skin starts to crawl. He tightens his grip, however, and repeats. "Come. Sit." He pulls on my arm, hard, and I stand up, then sit down next to him. His hand on my skin feels like small, heated needles poking into my skin all at once and spreading upwards. He releases his grip on my wrist and puts his arm around my shoulders. I start to freak out. "Stop. Get off me." He doesn't seem to get the memo, because he just laughs in my face, his breath smelling strongly of alcohol. My limbs seem to take control of themselves before I know what's happening, and I punch him in the face, standing up, running to the door, and getting the hell out of there.
I hear my mom shout after me, but I keep running until I can't breathe at all. I collapse on the frosted ground, snowflakes and the cold air settling on my skin. I try to steady my rapid breathing as I start to sob, putting my head beneath my legs. The air burns my windpipe and lungs, but cools my head. I sit up, clearing my thoughts and giving me space to compute what just happened. I usually don't freak out this much. The tears stream down my cheeks and on to my neck and shirt. Maybe it was the correlation of stress, anger, and lack of food or sleep, but my head spins and I lay back on the frosted grass. I take a few more deep breaths and then check my phone to see the time. About 10:00 at night. I wonder if I should go back home or see if I can walk somewhere to sleep. An idea pops into my head and I decide to follow it up.
I select "new message" and try to form my thoughts. "Hey Claire, this is gonna sound weird, but do you possibly think I could crash at your house?" I decide to fabricate a little bit of a story. "I got locked out of mine and I my mom's working tonight." She is indeed working tonight, so it's a small enough stretch that I don't feel too bad. I press send and wait for what seems like an eternity. I'm not usually impatient but just the thought of going back to my house makes my anxiety kick in majorly. I hear the text sound and it startles me until I realise it's my own phone. "Bro! Anytime! Want me to pick you up somewhere?" I smile slightly, in gladness of my willing new friend. "Would you just wanna meet me at Vitamin Cottage in about fifteen minutes?" I decide to get up and start running now that i've committed myself to a time frame. Claire texts back and I slow down a second to read the confirmation.
I keep jogging for about ten minutes until I reach the parking lot. I look around for Claire's car and find it in a spot across the lot and I speed walk to it, out of breath. "Sorry I was late." She smiles, her tan skin and caramel hair looking bright and glowy in the light of the streetlamps. "you must be freezing! Did you walk all the way back here from your house?" I nod. "I could have just picked you up." "Don't worry about it. I just hope I didn't keep you waiting long." She shakes her head enthusiastically. I can't help but notice the way that she just pulls you in, and you just really want to be friends with her. You wanna have sleepover parties, each chocolate, talk about boys, and cry with each other. And there are about zero other people in the world who I wanna have that kind of friendship with. Or even any kind of friendship.
"You zone out a lot." I look at Claire as it takes a moment for my brain to register what she said. "Oh. Gosh, I'm so sorry. yeah." She laughs. "Hey, you going to that party on Friday night?" "What party?" "Oh, I figured you'd heard about it. This rich girl, Mandy is throwing a party while her parents are gone on the weekend. She has them a lot, but I think this guy, Drew, will be there." I look at her. "He's just this guy, I've liked him like, all year and I think he wants to ask me out." I smile gently. "That's so nice. I hope all goes well." "Oh you're gonna be there to see it. I'm making you come." I look up. "Making me?" "I want you to come! Please! It'll be so fun." I shrug, not really wanting to go but not wanting to disappoint her either. "Okay. I guess." "Yay!" She squirms behind the driver's wheel.
"So, Aaron really likes you." My head jerks up and I feel my cheeks burn. "What?" My voice seems smaller than usual and I want to hide my face. "He thinks you're beautiful and sweet. I think he really wants to get to know you." "How do you know?" I look down, wanting to stop existing. "oh, he told me." "y-you sure?" "Of course!" She laughs and continues. "Anyway, I think if you two went to that party, had a bit of potato water," I stare at her. "Vodka! Anyways, maybe he'll grow the balls to ask you out." "Oh man." "Do you like him back? 'Cause, I'm just saying, you two would be adorable. But also, he's my brother, and I don't want you to hurt him." "Gosh Claire, I don't know if I like him. I've only known him a few weeks. I just.... I don't let myself get close to people." She looks over, her brown eyes saying she wants to know why, she also wants to help me. "Why not girl?" I shrug my shoulders. "If you wanna talk, I'm here."
I smile at the new-ness of that phrase. "Thanks Claire, that means a lot."
