As Aaron parks outside my house, he smiles at me wistfully. I can tell he's fighting an impulse to lean in and kiss me. I can sense his energy, burning and aching. Why? I look at him curiously and he smiles. I love that smile. His hair is ruffly and shiny. "So, um, thanks for hanging out..." he says, grinning again. "Thanks for picking me up, and reading to me, and stuff." i giggle slightly, recounting our enjoyable evening.
After he had been reading to me for a while, we decided to watch a movie, and choosing an off-colour comedy, laughed through most of it. I caught myself staring at him several times through the course of the evening, thinking about my dream and where it could've gone, had I let it continue. The thought appeals to me slightly, but I shake it off and tell myself not to be a moron.
I hop out of the car and thank Aaron again for the evening and slowly walk up to my house. The night air is chilling and my skin feels icy as i open the front door and step inside. The house isn't much warmer and i dread getting to sleep tonight. The strange and foreign thought of sleeping in bed with my mom creeps into my head. I shake it off quickly, shuddering at the thought of being stuck with someone for a whole night.
Speaking of my mom, I look around to try to see if she's anywhere downstairs, and find a note on the table. "Went to your dad's for dinner, won't be back until tomorrow." I raise my eyebrows and shake my head. I recollect not seeing Jack's car outside the house and shiver slightly at the thought of being all by myself tonight.
I eat dinner and then head up to my room, attempting to do homework for a couple hours, then retire because of exhaustion. I tell myself I'll be alright in my room, all alone, but for some reason, that's the last thing I want to be. When I'm with Aaron, I feel a warmth, a constant burning smile. That warmth is wearing off, though, when i hear the beginning of a snowstorm outside my window and I sigh.
I toss and turn throughout the night, sleeping restlessly and waking up frequently. I feel like there's an energy under my skin, pushing me from the inside, it's an itch that swells my skin, making it feel tough and brittle. I do like Aaron, a lot. But I'm so scared and I can't let myself get close. That's what causes the itch and pain. That's the reason I can't sleep at night anymore.
In my sleeplessness, I decide to get out my painting of Aaron and I and look at it. I study his features, scowling at the minuscule mistakes in his face as I trace my fingers lightly against the canvas. My phone buzzes and I jump in surprise. I grab it and see it's a text from Aaron. See a painting of the devil... Or something... I open the text and read it, laughing a bit when I see it. I push the painting onto my window seat. "I kinda wanna cudle rihgt now." I reply, my face feeling warm and my mind buzzing. "Where did that come from? Are you drunk?" Forget about the haphephobia?
he responds in a few moments. "Mayb ea little." I laugh. "Why are you texting me and not drinking more?" "becuse you are btter tahn beer." I smile a little more. "Well, to be honest, if I wasn't haphephobic, i'd cuddle with you too right now." I remind myself not to lead him on at all, hurting him would be the worst thing I could possibly do. "Well lets mi nd cuddel" I nod my head and look at the time, feeling my eyes burn. I honestly wish I was with Aaron right now, not facing this storm alone. But he's probably at some nice party with pretty girls lining up to get their hands on him. the thought makes me a bit angry, and I realize that I'm being jealous. "Let's mind cuddle indeed." I finally send, after much consideration of words and if I should ask about where he is, but convince myself not to, not wanting to seem like an overprotective not even girlfriend. "Today wa sfu. . can we do it aagin soon" It takes my sleepy brain a second to register what he's saying. "For sure. if only I didn't have work all the time." "wha about tommprow. aftr u get of wokr? tak you to diner porperly." I laugh. "Sure. I'll text you. I'ma sleep now but take care, okay? Don't drunk drive and have a nice hangover." I hit send and sink back into my bed, closing my eyes until he replies. "Oodnight sweetone." Sweet one, huh? I drift off to sleep with a contented smile on my face.
