Bitter Sweet Sickness | isohara |

Thank You.. You Led Me To Happiness.

Isogai's P.o.V.

I was unconscious, finding myself watching a faded scene of Maehara and I. Ironic, huh? Sitting under cherry blossoms, juice boxes occupying a hand each, our free hands intertwined with each other. That alone I could feel the heat, how warm and fuzzy I felt. My heart thumping, thump, thump. The white silence which was somehow soothing. "Yuma, look at me?" The sound of my first name voiced from his lips, I obeyed and turned my head. I didn't expect it; his lips were on mine. What bothered me wasn't the fact they were there, hell, it felt good! What bothered me was that it felt real.

Before I know it I'm being dragged out of the scene, now aware of my surroundings. I'm aware I'm breathing, that it's dark but not entirely, the feel of fabric against my fingers. Opening my eyes, I see Maehara right in front of me, kissing me. Without any second thought, any control, I was kissing back.

It must've frightened him, his eyes shot open and he yelped and pulled back. "S-shit! Sorry, sorry!" He shook his head, "That didn't happen okay, it didn't..." I wasn't sure if he was embarrassed he was kissing another male or the fact I woke up. I hope it's the latter.

"Maehara, you oka-"

"Isogai Yuma, I'm in love with you!" He cried out. Love. You. With. Me? Me! I couldn't help myself, there were fireworks that went off, making my heart flutter with those words. I coughed slightly before smiling widely, "God Maehara.. So am I." The blonde rose his head, making eye contact with me.

"You're being serious?" I nodded in response. He broke into a smile, tackle hugging me and bringing me into another kiss. There was my playboy. Playboy. Fuck! Fuck, no! I pushed him off, "No.. You're a playboy.. I.." I knew he could be committed but why was my body saying otherwise?!

Maehara cleared his throat, "Yuma let me explain." And so he did, he told me that this game, he was taught. By those around him and he went along. It was only until he was committed to that game until he knew, he knew he loved me.

Never in my life would I have expected that. I wouldn't have expected any of this. But you know what? At this moment I didn't even care! Not only did I find out my crush likes me back, but he also has only ever had feelings for one person, said person being me. He's not actually straight, not bi, not pan but gay. Full on homosexual for his best friend who's a full on homosexual for him, too.

At that moment I felt important, significant and not like I had an act put together. I didn't feel like I was crumbling, more like I was flying. I was standing proud without any worries. And we fell, fell entangled onto the bed together. Arms around one another, hands playing together and legs twisted perfectly. Laughing, smiling, gazing. Sure it was fast but, after all these years of secretly liking each other and you're going to tell me no?

Little kisses on cheeks and noses, even a couple seconds on the lips. I didn't think I'd feel as great as this until everything in my life was settled. Until I was able to pay off debts for my family, help my mother get better and my siblings into good education. Set them off for a good future. I didn't think I'd feel great until I was living my life the way I wanted to, not that this isn't what I want. It's more or less half and half.

But now? I didn't need to worry about another girl in the picture, I didn't need to worry about the third wheel. I was in the game, the real one. Not just some petty little cover up game.

I don't know how long this relief will last, how long until I'll start to crumble again, but right now, this is probably the only thing I need. Never in my life did I think I'd thank myself for being sick.

Thank you.. You led me to happiness.