Physically Scarred: Book One

Chapter Twelve

Bella's POV

Edward hasn't spoken to me in over a week, he doesn't even look in my direction anymore; it's been driving me crazy. I wonder if it has something to do with me killing Tanya last week. One thought disturbed me the most, 'What if he doesn't love me anymore?' I knew I won't be able to handle that, I probably would try to kill myself again.

Alice suddenly yelled, "Bella! Come sit next to me!" She had drawn the attention of the entire student body, but they all looked away when Rosalie yelled, "Stop staring at us, losers!" I immediately realized they were sitting at a different table, and Edward was completely alone at the usual table. Alice shoved the chair out of the way, then she helped into the spot. I smiled slightly at her and said, "Thank you, Alice." She said with a huge grin, "You're most certainly welcome."

Rosalie caught my attention, when she said, "Edward's been such a whiny little bitch lately. He's been blaming himself for Tanya's passing." I nearly growled out, "Well, I guess he doesn't really love me anymore." I almost stood up to walk away, but I didn't and stayed where I was. Alice asked, "Why would you even say something like that?" I replied, "Because I killed the bitch." Alice said, "Well, you're wrong; he still loves you, even-though I know he won't admit to you."

When I turned to look at Edward I caught him staring at me, but he quickly looked away. It just pissed me off, so I pushed away from the table and rolled over to him to give him a piece of my mind. I growled at him, "What the f*ck is wrong with you?" He looked at me and said icily, "I don't know what you're talking about." I yelled, "B*llsh*t!" Then I asked angrily, "Why don't you even look at me anymore?" He said, "I just did." I growled out, "Why do you keep looking away?" He looked back at me and froze, then he bolted out of the cafeteria and saw him disappear into the woods.

After a few seconds I rolled my wheelchair back over to where his sibling were sitting, I started eating my lunch as the depression sunk in again. Jasper chuckled, "Bella knows how to put a vampire into a state of shock." I said with a sigh, "I guess I do." Then I asked, "Can you tell what he's thinking from his emotions?" Jasper said, "Well, there's definitely a lot of conflict going on in his mind. He want to be with you again, but he can't get himself to do it. He's afraid he'll hurt you because you'll want to do the horizontal tango." I questioned in confusion, "The horizontal tango?" Jasper said with a smirk, "We do the horizontal tango quite often, don't we Alice."

The others broke out laughing and I immediately caught on, they were referring to sex. I still thought about the issue quite often, I just craved his touch so much it drove me crazy. Jasper's eyes darkened and he turned to glare at me, but I just looked away. It's his fault for mentioning the horizontal tango in the first place....

Alice lifted me off the wheelchair and placed me on the stool, before she walked over to sit next to Jasper. I ignored Edward as he stared at me, but it started to irritate me. He said softly, "Bella." I slowly turned to stare at him, he gulped in fear. I waited for him to speak, but he remained silent. We just stared at each other for a minute, then he was the one who looked away. I asked him, "What the hell is going on in that head of yours?" He sighed and said, "I don't want to ever hurt you." I replied, "Then stop hurting me." He looked at me again and said, "I meant physically." I asked him, "What's the difference? Do you feel it's okay to emotionally hurt me?" Edward tensed up for a moment, but then he relaxed again.

Suddenly Edward said, "I guess it doesn't. I can't do this anymore, I just can't." I looked at him confused and asked, "What are you talking about?" He sighed before saying, "Every time I hurt you, I feel like I'm hurting myself. I crave to touch you, but I try to stay far away from you as I can. I don't want to do that anymore. I want you; I want to kiss you." I said as I became overwhelmed with lust, "Then kiss me already!"