From the Ashes, You Crawl

Chapter Eleven

"I don't care what you say! I'm going out today!" Gerard shouted as he limped away from his bed into the front room. He picked up a pistol from his stockpile and shoved it into his waistband.

Frank was close behind, standing in the doorway, watching Gerard bend over the pile. "Damn it, Gerard. I said no!" He replied, walking hesitantly towards the strange man. It had been a week since Gerard's last breakdown after taking the pill that had not worked, and Frank had still not allowed him to leave, once even going as far as standing in front of the door for two hours.

"I have to," Gerard said, raising his head as he slid the katana into its holster. He glared at Frank for a moment before he started towards the door, "You don't understand. You don't understand what I go through to survive. I collect everyday for a reason."

"Gerard," Frank sighed, rubbing his forehead, "I counted your supply and you have over three months supply of food. You do not have to collect every single day."

"Yes, I do!" Gerard exclaimed, starting towards the door, still fighting off his limp. He was surprised when two pale hands clasped his shoulders. Gerard spun around to see Frank desperately clinging to him, eyes wide and fearful.

"No, no. If you get into a bad situation, you won't make it out," Frank whimpered, tightening his hands around Gerard's shoulders, "No."

Gerard spun out from his grip, heart racing. He hated it so much when Frank touched him. He had always hated touching people and people touching him. "You think I can't do it?" Gerard hissed, clenching his fists as he backed himself against the door, "I've made it this long just fine on my own."

"Luck! Pure luck!" Frank yelped, watching as Gerard turned the knob of the door. He knew he needed to act then. He needed to stop Gerard. He needed to. "Do you know how long you've been out here? How long you've been all alone, Gerard?" He didn't wait for an answer because Gerard did not want one, "Three years! Three years you've been living like this! Three whole years!"

Gerard stopped, the door barely open. His body seemed frozen. The whole time Frank had been here, that was so the one fact he wanted to avoid. He didn't want to know how long he'd been alone. He didn't want to know the time that his brother had been gone. He didn't want to know how long ago that terrible, worst day had been. Without warning, Gerard turned over his shoulder, grabbed Frank's face, and mashed his lips frantically against Frank's.

There was no feeling behind this kiss, no lust, no wanting or longing. Gerard sincerely just wanted Frank to shut up. He wanted silence. He wanted to choke the life out of Frank, but that was wrong. He could not follow his desires. He could not quiet the voices inside his head. This was the next closest thing.

After barely a second, Gerard pulled away, gazed at Frank for an instant before he turned and left his hideout.

Less than a minute later, Frank had already caught up to him, toting a weapon of his own now. "Wait, wait!" He called after Gerard, puffing as he ran through the tall weeds, "If you're going to go, and I can't stop you, I'm going with you."

Gerard sighed and turned over his shoulder to see Frank huffing and puffing as he struggled to make up the distance Gerard had created between them. "Fine," Gerard hissed darkly and then turned away, "Don't become... Dead weight." Gerard would never admit it, but the thought of Iero dead on the ground, the life sucked from him like a vacuum, eyes locked and vacant, face pale, oh, how it made Gerard feel like a ray of gray sunshine.

A little while later, Gerard was marching through the city streets, Frank tailing him. The whole walk here had been exceedingly annoying. Frank was always walking so close and his footsteps were so loud. It was driving him insane. Gerard was relieved when he finally reached the place in the city where he always stopped, and he pulled out his map and surveyed the buildings.

"What's that for?" Frank asked loudly. Everything about Frank was loud, and that bothered Gerard to no end.

"To show where I have been," Gerard said as he found an empty building a few blocks down. He looked off in that direction, glancing between the map and the street for a moment before he took out the red marker and drew an X over it.

Gerard started off down the street, and Frank's loud and obnoxious footsteps followed. "Why do you mark them off?" He asked as he trailed Gerard like a puppy or something like that.

"Because," Gerard began as he crossed down the sidewalks quickly, wishing to get the collecting over as soon as possible, "If I were to go back to an apartment I've already been in, I would much sooner be greeted by bloody, welcoming teeth." He thought for a moment and then turned to the army medic, "I bet that's why your brigade was attacked. You went in an apartment I had been in."

Frank didn't reply to that. He only stared at Gerard as he turned away and continued up the street. A few minutes later, they arrived at their destination. Gerard stopped in front of the building, and his stomach sank. There were boards over the windows, and a huge, plastic haz-mat bag was covering the entire building. Frank stopped in front of the building and let out a low whistle. "Whoa," He said, hands in his pockets.

Gerard didn't like this. There was no way for the sun's gray rays to enter the building with every window covered. This made him horribly nervous, and he reached into his bag for his map, looking for the next building.

"Dude, what are you doing?" Frank asked, turning towards Gerard, a sense of irritation in his voice.

"I don't trust this," He said, flipping his map open and searching for the next closest building. Gerard and Frank both scanned over the map to find that the next building was nearly ten blocks away. Frank stood up, shaking his head.

"It's gonna take like two hours to get there," Frank complained, rubbing his eyes.

"It's better," Gerard answered, crossing off the building and folding the map into his bag. He was surprised when Frank started complaining again.

"No. Gerard, I really don't want you to walk that far," Frank started, removing his hands, "I really, really don't want that. It will be hard on your leg, and we both know that it can't take much more stress." Gerard ignored him as he started off down the block. "Gerard, this is stupid! You were so incessant on collecting today, and now we are fucking here and you're leaving!" He yelled down the block, "I don't know what happened to you that fried your brain, but, dude! Think! For once, make an educated decision!"

Gerard stopped in his tracks, the words slamming into his back. He stopped, turning very slowly with an internal flame inside his chest. For a moment, he allowed himself a thought. He thought of running back to where Frank was. He thought of pushing the medic to the cement and smashing his head against it until blood ran from his ears. He thought of wrapping his hands around Frank's neck and squeezing until his body twitched and then went limp. Twitch and limp. Twitch and limp. If Frank was dead, maybe, just maybe, Gerard could have his way with no objections. That sounded fantastic.