Not Allowed

Chapter 27

Shea

As devin walked away he kept staring at me I didn't want him to I didn't want him to even look at me I can't believe he wants me to get rid of the baby so what I'm sixteen I don't care

Dr. Cato was looking at his pad trying to figure out how to tell me whatever he needed to tell me my nerves were high what could it be that he couldn't say it in front of Devin even though he I could give two fucks about him

"Shea the pains that you have been feeling are your joints and I took a test on your blood like I told you but something else popped up on my results you have Lupus it is a immune disease it attacks you from the inside it makes the joints in your body ache you have stress fatigue I needed to tell you this because you need to take care of yourself because people can die from lupus."

I cried because I know what lupus is my auntie died from it just four years ago and I mean it's not cancer but it is serious and I'm scared plus I just found out I was pregnant Its like having so much put on you so fast you don't understand it... I don't know what to do what if Devin is right maybe I do need to give up the baby what if me having lupus gives the baby a defect and she or he gets it and They get sick I couldn't live with myself 

I looked over at Devin he had a curious face I have to come up with a plan i'm not telling him about this I need to deal with this myself I... I'm scared 

Janelle

I tried to stay away from her as much as I could because of whatever was wrong with her but today as I saw that doctor walk into her room with all that equipment something was wrong

I haven't been there for he i was selfish i should've stayed by her side because she really needs me so after that doctor leaves im just gonna talk to her

I looked at devi his head down standing by the wall this must be bad but im not hoping for it 

Over here everything's has been falling apart how do we fix us I really thought that running away was a good idea and you can say it was but maybe all of us are young and to naïve to be with just us

All I know is that I hope we can make everything work because Christmas is coming and I know how much Shea loves Christmas and snow

Will Christmas even be the same

Sydney

My mother and I were doing Christmas decorations I usually did this with Shea because my mom worked

I miss my sister , my parents act like she never existed they are in denial that she is gone they can at least acknowledge that this will be our first Christmas without her

"Mom, this was Shea's favorite part putting the angel on the tree." I smiled as a single tear fell down my face

"Can we not do this Sydney , can you just go get ready for bed you have school in the morning." My mom said irritated

"Look I'm tired if both of you pretending like she doesn't exist I know it hurts but I want to talk about her because I don't want us to act like this never happened you both are acting like shitty ass parents i wouldn't be surprised if she ran away instead of being kidnapped she might be dead but that's still my sister and she us still here with me in my heart."

My mom trued to say something

"Sandra you don't deserve to be called s mother no mother tries to forget there children uh you are so worried about the new baby that you forgot about Shea you loved her so much what happened to that." I said not knowing tears were down my eyes

"Sydney please don't stress your mom out its not good for the baby." Larry said

"Wow it's still all about the baby hope that little one can replace Shea I'm sure that's what you will try to do." I rolled my eyes running upstairs I passed Shea's room I went back to it opening the door
.

Her room is just like it always has been that beautiful periwinkle color I grabbed her pillow and just cried i wish she wasn't gone

I looked at our picture on the dresser she looked do happy I miss that smile she always made me happy and I can't see her anymore

I'm loosing myself without her

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Here is this chapter the next couple of chapters will get better I promise

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