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So Melody confessed to me.
She was so excited and fidgety and just plain out adorable. Why, just why, can't I seem to fall for her?
Seeing her imperfections seemed to ruin her image. But Gale? She looked even more perfect when I saw all her flaws.
I can't compare any girl to Gale and think the other girl would be better. Just can't.
She had laid her head on my shoulder (she always gave out physical shows of affection only to me and I never backed out rudely but I also never reacted to it or showed excessive affection back at her) and she told me, "I think I'm falling for you, Eden."
Of course, I turned her down.
But it was different this time. Compared to all the other girls I've turned down, she was the one that I stayed with the longest because she was so stubborn to tell me her feelings (It's been a year). It was almost as if she was waiting for me and TBH maybe I might've told her I loved her for a change. I'd be proud if I had her and if she had me. But she didn't wait. Maybe I could've actually fallen for her. Maybe. I don't even know.
But it's too late now. I told her, "Sorry, Melody..."
I didn't have to say more. She understood me well enough. Her smile disappeared and I saw her face go from surprise to embarrassment to desperation to pure sadness.
I gently stood up, and she hugged me from behind. "You're kidding. I love you, okay? Didn't you like me back? I thought you did."
"Did I say I loved you?"
"... No.... But I knew it. I felt it. I thought that you..." She hiccuped. "I just thought..."
"Well you thought wrong."
She let go.
I didn't want her to let go. Part of me wanted to hold her so I faced her and said, "But we'll still be together?"
Okay, I've never said that before. I've always broken my ties with that person. I learned that it hurt more that way. To make them think it was easy letting go of them. But I couldn't let go of her. She made me feel good but at the same time I wanted to use her. I didn't want to feel alone, even if I was being fake. But maybe for a change...
"I don't love you but maybe you can make me?"
"What?"
"Make me fall for you. I like you. Just not in that way yet. If you want, I'll give you a chance."
"A chance to get you to love me?"
I nodded. "Will you go out with me, Melody?"
She hugged me. "Thank you."

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Maybe I've just forgotten what love felt like.