Color

Date

She took me to the beach. Her body was good which made her suit look a little slutty despite it being a one piece. Maybe it was her curves or maybe it was simply because she was hot. People, male and female, were looking at her, impressed of her figure.
I stood close to her. Who says I can't be proud to have a sexy girlfriend?
Girlfriend. No. Just...
She was a hurricane. She was strong but she could ruin things. Shes making me think differently.
But she's not Gale.
Shut up.
You still wish you had Gale in your arms. You wish that you kissed her,at least once, even though she told you no kissing. You still think about her.
No I don't.
Yes you do. You were comparing Melody to a hurricane. That's something stupid that Gale would say.
Yeah so?
Your so thinking when she called you her sunshine.
No I'm not.
You can't get over her.
I already have.
Liar.
I know.
Idiot.
Melody looked at me and grabbed my neck gently. I got scared, thinking she's kiss me but instead she laughed. She brought me to a really close hug as she said, "It wouldn't kill you to smile, would it?"
I made a small chuckle. I made a fake smile, not to wide for her to suspect though. Basically something she's very used to.
Oh yeah.  Another thing girls find hot: a sad story. Some girls find it sweet how it seems like I'm still attached to Gale (at least to those girls who believe Gale's the reason for always turning girls down) and how I'm still loyal to her.
I'm not sure loyal is the word I should be using, though. In love? Obsessed with? I don't know. Maybe I am just too loyal.
I stepped away from her grind-like hug and took her hand. I've came contact with her to a minimal (not including the times where she's the one who hugs or grabs my arms or whatever) so I guess she noticed this and of course she made a big deal out of it. I ran to the beach but  she nearly killed the whole mood because she started taking pictures of us. I found it disgusting that she was so excited to post that we were together even though I wasn't sure yet. But that's what I get for playing with a girl who's heart truly loves me.
For one second, just do something, Mel. Do something to make my heart beat. Show me that I have a heart in here, under my sorrow and bitterness.
But no. Nothing. I felt nothing even to the end of the day.
I had to tell her. I had to stop my games.
I'd tell her at her house when I dropped her off.
I think this is my final mistake... maybe there was something about the fact that she's just gone on a date (which she rarely does) with the boy she's liked for a while now, the atmosphere with the dim light as I respectfully dropped her home at 9 (something I always did for Gale) as the sun's light was almost completely faded away because, well kissing her was a bad idea.  Even if it was a small peck on her warm cheek.
When I quickly pulled away, I saw the look on her face. It was like her wish came true. I realized that for the final time, I tricked her again, even though it was an accident.
I allowed a small tear to fall (fake crying was easier now; I just had to think about the past like about Gale or the fact I used to have friends) and said, "I'm sorry. Really. I can't keep doing this."
"No.." she quietly moaned. She hugged me. "Please please please please please."
"Don't 'please' me, Mel. Don't let me hurt you again and again."
"Then don't. I know you're still caught up with Gale. Can't you pretend I'm her? I don't care if you have to lie to say it but I just want to hear you say you love me back."
But I'm sorry. I can't do that. I love you enough to stop.

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"Tear me apart one more time."
-E. E.