Chapter 4
She opened her eyes, and for a few seconds, I think I forgot how to actually breathe. Her face turned, and her eyes landed on us, a smile forming on her face. “hey you” she said, and I felt me eyes fill with water. “You scared us so much…” I said, and her hand rose to me cheek, where she wiped away the tears from under me eyes. “How are you feeling sweetie?” a voice sounded from the other side of the room, making Kimberley flinch, moving her hand fast. “Don’t worry love.. Cheryl told us all… well actually Amy did.” Diane said. Kimberley looked horrified, making us chuckle through me tears. “Don’t worry” Diane repeated. “We’re okay with it… most of us anyway.” Diane kissed her daughters head, and her gaze fell on us, and I saw the worry in her eye.
“we got the test results back finally.” The doctor said, as he entered the room. It had been two weeks… two weeks where I had only left her side, to eat, shower and toilet visits. Kimberley smiled a bit, but her eyes told a different story. She was scared. “Tell me” she said her voice low. She sounded terrified as she grabbed me hand. Diane stood up and crossed her arms, her eyes fixed on the doctor. “There isn’t much to say… since we actually don’t know much.” I got up from me chair. “You said you had answers” the doctor held up his arms in defense. “I said we had the results back… the results are what I thought. We have absolutely no idea, what’s wrong with you Kimberley… I’m sorry”
“how can you not know?” Diane asked.
“we’ve seen it before. But only with 4 other people. We don’t know what it is, and we don’t know what the problem is.” The doctor continued, making us angrier.
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“it’s good to be home”
She was allowed to go home, if she’d just take medication every day. She could live a normal life, the doctors had said… what a complete joke.
“isn’t it?” she asked, and I nodded in response. “Babe… are you sure you wanna be here, I mean-“
“I want to be here” she cut me off. “I know the risk. But you heard the doctors, 4 other people live with it too…”
“But its not normal… you never know when your heart is going to stop! What if-”
“Stop it Cheryl! I don’t wanna think about that right now!”
A silence filled the room, as we stood watching each other. We hadn’t been like this for years. “Sorry…” I mumbled, as I slowly shuffled over to the couch. “no… I’m sorry… I just really don’t want to think about all that right now…. The more I think about it, the realer it gets.”
“but it IS real Kimberley…”
“I know it is, Cheryl. But how am I going to live, if I worry about that all the time?”
“… I don’t know” and I didn’t know, I had no idea whatsoever.
“Exactly…”
she sat down next to us on the couch, and I put me feet up and snuggled into the side of her. I had always been the younger one; I had always been the smaller one, always the fragile one… but now suddenly, somehow, that had all changed. She grabbed me hand, playing with me fingers and as I turned me face to look up at her, she planted a soft kiss on me lips.
The medicine that Kimberley had gotten, would stop the pain, at least that’s what the doctor said. But it wouldn’t stop her heart from failing. It wouldn’t happen often, they’d told us, but we’d know when it would happen. She would start to feel dizzy, nauseous and eventually it would stop. They’d seen it before, and there was only one way to really fix it.
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“She’ll have to have a new heart.”
the doctor said, making a silence fill the room.
“a new heart…?”
all eyes fell on Kimberley, who looked devastated.
“yes. A new heart is the only thing that can cure this right now.” The doctor said, looking at all of us, making sure we understood.
It had been a month since she’d gotten out, and she had been doing fine since. Only a shot of pain every once in a while, but luckily no failures.
“Then give her a new heart!” the words flew out of me mouth, probably louder and meaner than they should.
“Its not that easy mrs. Cole. There’s many more people in the need of a heart transplant… many who’s more acute and the heart also needs to fit.” The doctor explained as me eyes fell on Kimberley. She looked sad and embarrassed, she hated the weakness more than the actual pain.
“We’ll just have to wait?” Diane asked the doctor, and everyones gaze fell on him.
“You’ll just have to wait… I’m sorry”
We were back in out apartment, cuddled up in bed watching The Little Mermaid. I felt her arms tighten around me waist and I turned to face her. “You’re beautiful… you know that right?” her cheeks flushed, making us giggle. “says the one topping all the polls in all the magazines” I frowned. I hated hearing that. She always used it against us when I tried to give her a compliment. “Aye…you’re beautiful Kimbo. Inside and out…actually stunning” I let my finger caress her thigh and she smiled a bit. She placed her finger underneath my chin, lifting it up only to crash her lips against mine. Her tongue made its way inside me mouth, colliding with me tongue. I rolled up on top of her and let me hand slide down to the side of her lovely bum.
“Oi you two! Don’t tell me you going at it!” Sarah grinned cheekily as her and our two other bandmates entered the house. “Chezza’s hair says it all Saz!” Nicola half shouted, only to tease the two of us. “shh!! Someone could hear you!” Kimberley said, making the 4 of us laugh.
The girls had decided to visit, just as it had to started to escalate, and we’d pulled away in disbelief. How could they ruin such a good moment…
“We’re having a dinner party!” Nadine said, pointing to the bags, filled with grocery in Sarah and Nicolas hands.
“yeah, missy ‘I don’t wanna break a nail’ couldn’t carry a bag though” Sarah said, walking into the open kitchen.
“Oh shut it. I’m in the kitchen anyways! You won’t be any help in there! Only Kimba can help” Nadine said, grinning at Sarah, who in response licked her middle finger, before showing it.
“what’s the occasion?” Kimberley asked, making the three girls first look at each other, then away, as none of them wanted to answer.
“right… to make me feel better” Kimberley mumbled.
“no no!!” Nicola half shouted again. “It’s just…we haven’t done something like this in a while… we didn’t mean to make you sad…” Nicola’s face fell at the thought of hurting her best friends feelings, but Kimberleys face lit up, into a little smile.
“you’re right… it’s been ages. I’ll help in the kitchen Diney.” I breathed a long deep breath and I felt Nicola’s hand on me back. “How are you feeling?”
“heartbroken… ironically”
