Chapter 9
I sat by meself in the kitchen in me bathrobe. The night had been an emotional rollercoaster for both of us, and I was still a bit of a wreck. The phone call hadn’t been good news and Kimberley had broken down in me arms, leaving us to try and pick up the pieces, but failing and ending up crying with her.
“hey you” a smiling Nicola sang, as she strolled in. “Coffee?”
“think 3 bottles of vodka would do the trick” Nicola turned around, and first now looked at us.
“oh god. You look a state… what’s the matter, babe?” she sat down beside us, placing her hand on mine.
“Kimberley’s doctor called last night.. well early this morning…”
Nicola’s face changed in the matter or seconds and she got up from the chair, turning on the coffee machine.
“What did he say…?” she whispered, making her sound more vulnerable than I’d ever heard her before.
“one of the others, who’s having the same problems as Kimberley.. died last night” hearing me own words, made us tear up again. Nicola didn’t say anything, nor did she turn around. It was silent for a minute, before Sarah and Nadine came laughing into the kitchen.
“I’m going for a walk…” Nicola quickly said, storming out of the kitchen.
Nadine and Sarah looked at each other, then at us.
“Was it something we did?”
I didn’t follow Nicola, simply cause I knew that I couldn’t comfort her, even though I wanted to. Me fans always say I’m a strong person, but truth be told, I’ve only ever been strong these past few years, when I’ve had Kimberley to pick us up from the ground. In fact, she’d pick up any of us whenever we fell. When Nicola was feeling low, due to the amount of bullsh*t the press wrote about her, Kimba were the one to give a cuddle, and make her feel better. When the press kept saying Nadine was a failure due to her solo career and her move to LA, Kimba were the one to call her, and denying the rumors of all the feuds to the media too. When Sarah had her bad break up with her first her Fiancé, then her son-of-a-b*tch boyfriend, who honestly needs a kick in the ball and his wiener cut off, Kimba were the one who came to comfort her… and trough me scandal with the toilet b*tch, me divorce and me malaria, Kimba were once again the one who helped… and now when I think about it, she truly was what kept the band together… she even managed the band for us for a while… Louis who?
We were 4 vulnerable girls and one strong woman.
******
“this taste amazing, Nadine”
“thanks Kimbers..”
we were all sat around the dining table, but we had all stayed silent throughout most the dinner, no one really looking at each other.
“I can’t do this” Nicola blurted out, standing up.
“Sit down.” Kimberley said, calm as ever, not even looking at Nicola.
“I’m sorry, Kimberley, but I-“
“I said, sit down.” Her voice still calm and firm, but a but louder.
“sit down Nic..” I pleaded and the younger girl finally sat down, as the tears started to stream down her face. But the noise of someone sobbing didn’t come from her. I turned me head to see Sarah staring down at the table, her eyes watering too. My heart sank, and I felt me own eyes starting to fail on us.
“Don’t cry girls…” Kimberley whispered, her gaze fixed on the plate.
“How can’t we, Kimberley?” Nicola whispered too.
“I don’t want you crying over me. Please…”
“we can’t help it…” Nadine sobbed, making me finally lose it as the tears silently fell down me cheeks.
20 minutes later, after we’d all sat in silence, sobbing our way through the dinner, Nadine finally spoke up.
“I-I thought of something…”
“Do tell” Nicola croaked.
“we should all become organs donors… all we need is it to sign a few papers…”
once again a short silence fell. It wasn’t that we were all thinking about it, it was that we all agreed on it the second she said it, by just nodding our heads.
“We should tweet about it, too” Nicola said, looking at us. “that way, we could inspire our fans to become it too.”
“yeah” I said, agreeing. “let’s do it”
Kimberley didn’t say much, she simply didn’t have to. Her opinion wouldn’t matter to any of us; we were without a doubt, doing this.
*****************
I climbed into bed and pulled the covers over both our bodies. She turned around, laying on her side, looking at us. “Hey..” she simply said, a little smile forming on her lips.
“Hey..” me voice still sounded like a croak, which made us laugh a little.
“today has been…”
“fcuked” I said, nodding me head, making her nod in agreement.
“But I’m going to be fine, though. You know that, right Cheryl? I’m not leaving you. I will get a donor soon and it’ll all be back to normal.” she said this to us, but even though she did, I think she tried making herself believe it, more than making us believe it. I didn’t respond in anyway, I just looked at her, realizing that I at this stage… actually… didn’t believe it.
“I am, Cheryl. I am.”
“Kimbers….” I whispered, looking into her eyes.
“No Chez, this is when you tell me that is IS all going to be okay. That I will be alright. That it all will be back to normal!”
“But I don’t know that…”
“that doesn’t matter! Does it? I won’t be able to know if you ever lied to me! I’d be dead! Cheryl… just tell me it will all be alright… even if you don’t know…” I know me words had hurt her, and I knew what she wanted to hear. But I couldn’t tell her a lie.
“Kimberley… I don’t know what’s going to happen, pet. But whatever does, I will stand by you. So will the girls. We’re all a mess right now. But we’re fighting for you. we will fight WITH you. We’ll make your heart beat for as long as it can. I can only promise you that” me heart broke as I said those words, but it needed to be said. “I love you, Kimberley… I really do..”
“I love you too, Cheryl.”
