Chapter 8
“god, no!” Cheryl half screamed at me. Her expression horrified.
“then what are you doing?”
“I’m just… not good with things like this…I..I don’t know what to do”
“and I do!?” I raised my voice. I was really furious. Something I hadn’t been with her in years. “You want me to leave so YOUdon’t have to deal with it? that is so… selfish, Cheryl...I can’t believe you right now...” a silence fell over us. We just stared at each other, none of us knowing what to say to one another. I couldn’t believe what I heard, and I was sure as hell not leaving.
“I’m not going anywhere, you hear me? I need you. Just like you needed me when you went through your divorce, alright? I might be tough on the outside, but I am a wreck inside!” my eyes started to water, and she stepped closer to me, her hand reaching for me, but I pushed it away, stepping back. I already felt bad for pushing away her hand. But I was just that angry…
“let me explain Kimba…”
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Cheryl’s POV.
It was always us in pain. It was always me life on the frontpage. I could deal with me own pain. I had dealt with it for years. Of course she’d always been there to pick up the pieces. But she’d never had to hurt herself… and now that had changed. And something inside us blamed me self for that.
We’d agreed on going back inside, and had moved to the room we shared for the weekend. Kimberley sat on the bed while I stood looking out the window, watching the snow fly around, reminding me of the times in popstars when we went ice skating…
“Are you going to explain, Cheryl?” her voice still sounded harsh. I hated that tone, and I knew she did too.
I turned around and looked down.
“you were fine until I stepped into your life like this…”
“what do you mean?” she sounded confused.
“well… when you were with Justin… you were fine.”
Her eyes softened on us and in that moment she finally understood what I was trying to tell her. She understood how I felt and why I was scared.
“oi…babe…” she got up from the bed and walked to us, grasping me hands.
“This is not your fault. You’re not the reason my heart is failing… you’re the only reason it keeps beating…”
I looked up at her, me whole body shaking, I was so close to tears, but I kept them hidden.
“if I didn’t have you, Cheryl... I don’t think I’d have anything to fight for… you and I… we’re in this together, do you understand that? We need each other like a heart needs a heartbeat.”
she placed me hand on her heart.
“and right now, my hearts beating… but only for you. So cut the crap. I’m not leaving you, and you’re not leaving me.”
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We’d decided on a girly night in. Movies, popcorn, chocolate and loads of soda and after watching 3 Nicholas Sparks movies, we were now sat looking through pictures from our time in the band. Sarah had 5 photo albums, so we had one to look in each at the time.
“oh god! Do you remember this!?” Nicola screamed out, covering her eyes in embarrassment as she showed us a picture of herself and Sarah kissing in front of the cameras.