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❝This is IKEA's help center speaking. How may I help you?❞
❝Hey, I know this is gonna sound weird. Believe me, I do. The thing is... my testicle is stuck.❞
❝Sorry, your what?❞
❝Testicle. Testis.❞
❝Sir, did I hear that right? Testis? As in the organ down there?❞
❝Lord, how many times do I have to say this. Yes, my sperm pouch!❞
❝Is this a prank?❞
❝Does it sound like a prank?❞
❝Honestly? Yes.❞
❝...❞
❝Shouldn't you have called for an ambulance?❞
❝No! I mean, yes, I should have, but it's embarrassing. A grown man escorted out of his house, naked and stuck to a literal stool? I wouldn't wish that upon my worst enemy.❞
❝Oh my god, were you being serious?❞
❝Yes!❞
❝Okay, is there any way that I could help you? Could you elaborate on how this happened?❞
❝I bought one of your stools the other day and was showering when it happened. It got caught in one of those holes. I can't get it out. I'm literally stuck to it.❞
❝Hold on... you were showering? Why do you need a stool to shower?❞
❝Knee injury. It's a long story.❞
❝Oh dear, I know how that feels. I remember back in high school when I—❞
❝This is not the time for that.❞
❝Oh yeah, sorry. Could you maybe take a picture so that I could see just how this happened? I mean, it's hard to believe and I don't know if this is a prank, or if I should be really concerned.❞
❝...❞
❝I mean, you don't have to, but it would really help me understand this situation.❞
