Don't Leave Me

chapter 6

*dinah pov*

"are you ready?"

those three words had me speechless. was I ready to hear this? 10 years later and she's finally telling me. of course I wanted to know why she left and if it was because of me but at the same time I didn't want to know. what will happen if I did? what would be different ? would I still love her or whatever I feel for her?

thankfully Justine was with Camila and the girls. normani wanted us to be alone for this and I'm kinda scared. like how bad can this be? I know it's not going to be good but to have us be alone then I'm worried. this was probably really bad and I shouldn't have agreed to this.

"mani.. you don't have to say this."

she waves her hand, dismissing what I had said.

"you deserve to hear the truth."

I could feel my stomach turn as I anticipated the story. I ended up standing up and pacing around before normani grabbed me. she put me back on the couch and told me to calm down.

"I can't .. mani, like this was years ago and I don't know if I want to hear this. I can't relive that moment where you completely broke me. it was our graduation and I was left heartbroken by the one I thought would never hurt me."

"D-"

"I want the truth, I really do. it's just I don't know if I can handle it. you've hurt me so bad because you left me. how do I know that you won't do it all over again? how can I trust that you'll be there for me when I need you?"

"I need you to take a deep breath. I would get your inhaler but I have no idea where it is."

I pointed to the dresser behind her and she began to search through my drawers . when she finally found it, she handed it to me and waited for me to take a couple puffs. then she took it out of my hands and laid it down on the dresser before kneeling in front of me. she grabbed my hands and held them close to her chest.

"better?"

"yeah." I softly said.

"this is long and I don't expect you to still be with me after I finish the story . there are parts that I regret deeply but it's whatever . it's done with and I hate reliving this."

"then don't explain it."

"I have to Dinah. we both need some closure. I need closure knowing that what I'm about to tell you then you'll stay with me but if you don't that's okay. you need closure because for 10 years, you have probably been thinking about why I left you. it's time to tell you."

"I'm not ready, mani."

"we have a lot of time anyway. if you just want to watch movies and cuddle then we can do that instead. if it helps you get used to the fact that I'm going to have to tell you. it's killing me more than I'm holding it in. 10 years is a pretty long time to be holding in something big."

I looked, really looked, at her. her eyes showed me a woman that I knew back then. it also shows sorrow . whether it's for this story she's about to tell me or for a whole different reason is beyond me. slowly, I lifted my shaky hands and put them on both sides of her cheeks. I was nervous and i didn't know what the outcome will be. she put her hands on top of mine, making my nerves go away within a second. she calmed me down just by a touch.

I may not be ready for now but I know I will be soon. maybe in a couple hours or so . maybe at midnight. who knows . all I know is that I want to enjoy this moment with her before hearing the truth.

"promise that it's going to be the honest truth . no lies , no changing the scenario or whatever you call it, no avoiding eye contact. I want to hear you and I want to see what your eyes say too."