Don't Leave Me

chapter 8

*dinah pov*

*2 months later*

i've tried to be a parent to Justine but she just cuts me off. she doesn't talk to me like she used to. she just stays in her room and doesn't come out unless it's for food. i guess her mom's death is taking a toll now. i still can't believe she did that, she left me to take care of our seven year old. she left a daughter, who loved her so much. we had her funeral a month ago and i still cry. i wished she never did that but i still loved her. not like i loved Normani, it's just she's my daughter's mom and to know that she's actually gone is terrible. she didn't deserve to die at such a young age. we're just 27 years old.

"mommy?" Justine's soft voice called out.

"yes?" i asked, sitting up in my bed to find her standing at the foot of my bed.

"i really miss mom."

"i miss her too."

"can i stay with you? every time i close my eyes, all i see is the news."

"you're having nightmares and you never told me."

"i didn't want to be a bother."

i sighed heavily before pulling her close to me. her arms wrap around me and she starts crying.

"you're never a bother. you're my daughter and i'm here for you. don't ever think that you'll bother me."

"the older kids are bullying me because i had two moms."

"is that why you never left your room?"

she nodded and i held her tightly. i can't believe that she's been holding this in.

"i don't want to go to school mommy. please take me out."

"i'll take you out but if you want to try again later on in life tell me okay?"

"okay." she said, getting close to me as i put a blanket over her.

i kissed her head and held her in my arms. i've missed her so much and now she's telling me that she's been bullied makes me furious. i never knew this but she didn't want to talk to me so i don't blame her. i said i would protect her but i never did. i'm doing it now.

xxxx

after awhile at the school, i finally got to withdraw Justine from there. she didn't feel safe there and i wasn't about to let her stay. she deserves to feel like she's safe and if the school isn't doing that then I don't want her there. when i came home, i heard laughter from the house. i smiled knowing that Camila and Ally were making Justine laugh.

"mommy!" Justine screamed, when i walked in.

she ran towards me and i picked her up. she hugged me tight as i kissed her head.

"what did your aunties do?"

"they showed me old videos of the woman that found me in the mall and mom."

"oh really?"

"yeah, but mommy, i could see something in your eyes that were different from when you looked at mom."

"what do you mean?"

"you just showed happiness. with the other person, you showed love in your eyes."

"how do you know what love is?"

"i looked at how you looked at mom before she died and after she died."

"how do you know all of this?"

"i'm smart." she said, smiling brightly.

"that you are."

"i can show you pictures about it mommy."

"go ahead." i said, putting her down as she ran away.

i walked to the couch and sat between Ally and Camila. Ally laid on my shoulder while Camila just leaned back on the couch, holding my hand.

"you two are going to get through this. we're here for you and you know that."

"i do, it's just that it's harder on Justine because she's a little kid."

i hear Justine's little feet running down the stairs, clutching on her notepad. she hands it to me and i opened it. Ally and Camila also looking at it. she had pictures of her mom looking dejectedly. a couple pages later, it was of normani looking happy at something. i went back to Anise and closely looked at the drawing. i looked at the eyes and i noticed that i was in there. Justine had drawn me in her eyes. i flipped to Normani and looked at her eyes. i was there too.

"Justine, how did you draw this?"

"it's all up here." she said, pointing at her head.

"Dinah, your daughter has a gift." Camila told me.

"she really does." i said, exhaling a breath i didn't know i was holding.

i gave back her drawings and she hopped on my lap.

"mommy, when will we see those people again?"

"what people?"

"the ones at the mall."

"i don't know sweetheart."

she sighed and i leaned back on the couch. i didn't know if i was ever going to see them. i haven't heard from them ever since they got Jafre back. this was just like 10 years ago.

xxxx

*ring**ring*

I groaned as I searched for my phone on the side table. when I picked it up, I heard a little groan come from Justine. she had fallen asleep on top of me.

"hello?" I spoke raspily.

"Dinah, hey. it's Normani."

"hey? what's up?"

"to tell you the truth, I've been avoiding you."

my eyebrows furrowed. "oh?"

"yeah, you needed time to grieve and I realized that I need to let you go."

"Normani, stop."

"no, Dinah, I will not. it's my fault that she killed herself. i-i finally got the courage to tell you what had happened but I know that it'll take a long time before you can finally trust me again. I broke your heart and you were able to find love again. if I hadn't shown up at that mall that one day, we wouldn't be here. I wish I could take everything I did back but I can't. I want to do better and I need some time to do that. I'm not leaving you but just know that I will come back to you. I love you, Dinah. I really do but this is something I need to do. I need to get over the guilt that has been building up."

I didn't notice I was crying until I felt Justine's thumbs wiping away my tears. I smiled at her but she just gave me a look of worry.

"I understand. take all the time you need. call me if you need me."

"I will."

"and i love you too." I said, before she could hang up.

"mommy, who was that?"

"it was Normani."

I watched Justine's face light up when she heard that name. I felt myself smile at the happiness my daughter was showing.

"really? when will we see her again?"

"well that depends on her, sweetie. she told me she needs time so we're giving her time."

"will she come back?"

"I hope so baby. I really do."

xxxx

a/n: im so sorry but I have given up on this. I didn't want to continue it but then I was like I shouldn't because I'm not about to let myself stop myself from completing a book. junior year has sucked. I lost my dog and I watched her die. I have honestly lost motivation and I stopped coming on watt pad but I'm going to try again. I'm going to try to complete every book that I have published and stopped working on. I'm sorry guys. it makes me happy that you are all still reading my stories and voting and commenting. thank you for that because it makes me smile. oh and I'm going to cut camila out of the story.