trying.

[ 9 ]

the generation of being scared.

that was sadly who we were. we couldn't face reality as easily as parents and ancestors could. we are the ones left with nothing but scrapes, yet our parents still tell us how it was when they were our age; rubbing it into their children's faces of how well they had it.

maybe that's why i stand here before the tallest tree to ever breathe and a thick rope swinging from my hands. there's absolutely nothing to look forward to anymore. once you graduate, there's no jobs; no jobs, no money, homeless.

it's all i've ever been.

i've never had the greatest of clothes or the perfect, pearly whites. i've never had four walls to call home and love to return to it. i've never had any friends besides the one stuffed toy my mother bought for me when i turned one. i've never been happy.

i've never been loved.

"God loves you sweetie," my mother's sorrowed smile and blood shot eyes sang into my ear, "you never forget that,"

will he still love me mother, when i waste a life he gave me?