Burning Moon (Wattpad Version)

Alternative ending-Chapter 20

My heart jumped into my throat and then into my ears where it started beating so hard and fast, that I could no longer hear the clang of spoons against coffee cups and the idle chitter chatter of the people around me.

I scanned the room frantically; looking, hoping, praying, wanting to see Damien. I didn’t, but what I did see though was Jess, sitting at a coffee table in all her blunt fringed, faded pink t-shirted coolness sipping on a tall Latte and eating a giant piece of red velvet cake. How was she so thin? If I ate that, Leonard would have to tie me to a treadmill, weigh me down with 10kg weights and beat me for the next week while I ran non-stop without sleep.

Lucky bitch.

I eyed the back of her; she had a cute star tattoo on the base of her neck, and I wanted nothing more than to go over and talk to her, but a part of me was frightened. No, frightened wasn’t the right word. Terrified.

What if she told me that Damien was great? Happy? That he’d settled down with some hot girl and they were going at it like porn stars all night long and spending all their other moments clutching onto each other like love sick teenagers. I felt nauseous just thinking about it. I was so wrapped up in this torturous whirlwind of thoughts that I suddenly realized I was standing next to her table with no idea, or vague recollection, of how I got there; my legs must have done the walking on their own accord without consulting with my brain. Crap!

Jess looked up from the red velvet calorie hell and a huge smile lit up her face. She put her spoon down and jumped up immediately.

“Oh my God! Lilly!” She shouted so loudly that I’m sure not only the whole restaurant heard, but the entire block too. She hugged me hard and then pulled back and looked me up and down.

“You look amazing. Wow.”

I felt slightly self-conscious and instinctively ran my hand through my new shorter hair, “Thanks, I got my hair cut.”

Jess looked me up and down again and then shook her head, “No, it’s not that at all. It’s something else.” She paused for a moment and I could see she was thinking, “It’s your whole vibe, I can’t explain it, but you just look great. Sit! Sit babes!”

I sat down with her and realized I’d forgotten just how much I liked her. She was probably one of the most straight talking people I’d ever met. There was no bullshit with her, ever. She said what she meant and meant what she said. It was a quality I really admired, she was totally and unapologetically her own person.

“So how’ve you been? It’s been a year, right?”

“Um…” I was wringing my hands under the table in a desperate attempt not to bleat out the following;

So how’s Damien? What does he look like? Is he still so gorgeous? Is he seeing someone else? Is he in love? Where is he? When is he coming home? Does he know how much I love him and want to have thousands of babies with him and change my surname to his and live happily ever after and have amazing sex all night long and spend the rest of the time cuddling?? Huh? Huh? Huh?

So I mustered all the cool, calm nonchalance I could find and simply said, “I’m fine,” but then straight afterwards felt like screaming, NOT.

But my nonchalance didn’t stop there, “Mmmm, great. Yeah. Just…fine. Totally, so fine. Like, sooo fine in fact. Yeah.” I nodded and tried to smile, but failed dismally when it felt like my face was made of putty and had a mind of it’s own. God knows what weird expressions it was contorting into right now.

We sat in silence for a second or two, as Jess stared at me with a suspicious look plastered across her face. She threw me the kind of look that seemed to shout a loud, resounding and very sarcastic, ‘whatever’. I got the distinct feeling that she knew what I was thinking and was just waiting for me to say the D word.