I saw the confusion pass through his eyes. Of all the things he had been expecting when he found me, I think the last was probably that I would have a child clung to me and calling me Mummy. He nodded at me, and said he would wait for his drink and then join me. This gave me enough time to try and figure out how I was going to explain to him everything that had happened over the last three years.
I sat Darcy down and gave her the milk I had ordered for her and a colouring book to keep her occupied. The last thing I needed was for her to get bored while I tried to explain to someone the reason I had left without explanation. I felt eyes on me and looked up to see Niall hovering over a chair.
'You can sit down you know.'
He gave me a weak smile before lowering himself into the chair that was across from mine and Darcy's. I drew a deep breath, I knew this was going to be a long and intense conversation.
'So, how have you been?'
Niall looked at me as though I was insane. I guess he was thinking about all the things I had to say or explain to him, and wondering why I was making small talk.
'Alright thanks, looks like you've been busy.'
He raised his eyebrows at me.
'Niall...'
'Just tell me Jess. What's going on? Why did you just leave like that? Did you have no idea how heartbroken I was?'
It made me so sad to think that I had caused Niall any amount of heartbreak, I had just been doing what I thought was best for all of us at the time. Now I wasn't so sure it wasn't the worst decision I had ever made in my life.
'I don't even know where to start Niall.'
'Why did you leave?
I exhaled the breath I had been holding. I guess it made sense to deal with the most difficult question first.
'I was pregnant.'
That same confusion flashed through his eyes.
'Why did that mean you had to leave? I don't understand.'
'I was scared. I didn't know what to do or who to talk to, so I phoned Liam and he said that I needed to talk it through with management. It was a stupid thing to do and I should have known better. I should have talked to you first, but I was so scared. They told me that I was being selfish, and that I should think about what was best for you. I was going to ruin your career and you'd worked so hard. I knew what you'd say if I talked to you about it, and I didn't want you to give anything up for me. So I left.'
I could feel the tears welling up. I had been so stupid about the whole thing. If it had happened to me now, when I was older maybe I would have dealt with it better. But I was sixteen at the time, and I was young and dumb.
'So you're saying that baby was mine?'
'Is yours, yes. Her name is Darcy.'
