That other exception

Part 25

"Delirious...you're being a fucker, now if you force us to make you stay here... I'm going to promise you something" Cartoonz sounded annoyed, which meant he was feeling confident enough to challenge me, though I suspected he was relying heavily on Evan's ability to keep me in check.  "If Evan doesn't put you over his knee and spank your ass raw...I will" for a moment I thought Cartoonz was just fucking with me but the look on his face said otherwise.

"That will make three of us...Even if you got past us Delirious...you know there is one person in our little group here you won't out run" Tyler almost laughed from the other couch, I looked over at Evan, Tyler was right Evan could outrun me pretty easily. I doubted that Cartoonz would actually go through with his threat, he'd do a damn good bluff right up until he was in a position to get his hands on me but then chicken out with some bull shit reason like he had hurt his shoulder at the firing range earlier that day. Tyler on the other hand wouldn't just go through with it he'd probably make it last an entire day so that he could make sure I wouldn't be able to sit down for the rest of the month, and he would enjoy it.  Evan...well...he wouldn't do it as a punishment, he knew exactly how to punish me and it had nothing at all to do with any kind of corporal punishment, he and I were more alike than we realized. 

It took me what felt like a life time to make them believe that I had calmed down enough that they could leave me alone with Evan and there was no risk to his personal safety.  The second the door closed my gaze fell on Evan, how much did he believe I had calmed down?  From the look on his face I didn't have him fooled at all.

"Don't" he mumbled looked at me with suspicious eyes, I could see that his confidence was slipping from him but that didn't usually stop him from being able to control me.  The other me decided to push and I headed for the door, I had started to get it open just as Evan slide in front of me and pressed his whole weight against it, closing it again "you can't leave"

"Watch me" I snarled trying not to look at him as I pulled at the door again

"You promised" He mumbled pressing back against the door,  I felt my gut twist, I couldn't betray him.  I put my hands either side of this  head on the door and locked my eyes to his, I watched him squirm as his hand rested against my stomach with a slight tremor to them.  I knew he wasn't scared of me, he was never scared of me, what he was scared of is what would happen if I got passed him.

The promise I had made him...that we had made each other...was made at the beginning of our relationship, I'd only ever experienced being submissive with him and it was new enough that it scared the hell out of me, he'd only ever been abused when he was in a submissive mood so it scared him too.  We had vowed to each other that if one of us was in a submissive mood the other would stay by their side 24/7 until we were feeling more...normal...it was to protect ourselves from freaking out and having an emotional break down.  We had made a lot of promises back then, most of which had developed into 'rules' that we used to keep us safe and sane while we explored all the new feelings and were pushing our own limits in what we were willing to do.  Those rules where what had kept us together in some difficult times for us, sometimes they frustrated the hell out of us but they worked.

"If I stay here...you will have my full attention" I lent forward slowly and growled in his ear "Are you sure you want that?"

"Yes" he breathed as his eyes searched mine.

"Fine...I'll stay"I hissed and pressed myself against him, pinning him to the door.  Now that the decision had been made to stay I was focusing on him and how I could work off this energy without hurting him "now you can explain why you lied to me" I put more emphasis on the last four words than I intended,  he looked upset but relieved at the same time as he fidgeted and closed his eyes.

"I-I'm sorry" he breathed, looking like he was on the verge of an emotional break.

"Talk"I growled throwing the lock over on the door with a loud clunk and kept him pinned, I wanted to know what his excuse was for lying about going out on his own to hunt down the fucktards.

"I didn't want to lose you" he swallowed hard and glanced up at me, I knew it was difficult for him to admit this stuff, neither of us were good at talking about our fears and insecurities but we forced ourselves when it came to our relationship we figured that if we trusted each other that much then we should trust the other one with everything. "I had to live with the knowledge that you might not come back to me once...I can't go through that again" He choked and started picking at my jacket.

"what are you talking about?"I was confused, I have never done anything that would risk my life, not since being with him.

"When you use to go out and try to hunt down Daniel...I was always terrified that you wouldn't come back either because he'd managed to get to you first or because you had found him and been arrested and were going to jail" His voice was cracking on every other word as he struggled to get the words out, his arms slide around my waist and held on as if he was reassuring himself.  I never knew he felt this way...that was a lie I did know that he was worried when I found out that those guys had been looking for him, he knew I'd go on the hunt but I didn't realize he was terrified of what might happen.  I felt my gut twist again as I thought of him home on his own with his imagination driving him slowly crazy, how could I have left him like that? how did I not see it? and in the years since why hasn't he told me this before.

My anger peeked for a moment as a thought occurred to me, I took hold of his chin and made him look at me "That does not explain why you went off on your own to find a group of guys that had already proved they were capable of putting someone in the hospital"

"how do you know I went on my own" he tried to wriggle out of my hold

"you didn't delete the messages on your phone...I know the guys weren't with you...what the hell where you thinking?...how do you think I would have felt if I had of woken up to find out you where in the hospital...or dead"I snarled at him but the thought of losing him like that threatened to choke me.  

"I'm sorry...I didn't think" I watched as a tear rolled from the corner of his eye and down the side of his face.  I felt the anger begin to disappear, I couldn't be angry at him we'd both done the same damn thing to each other. he was hurting right now and i needed to be there for him, that didn't mean I wasn't still angry though...well more annoyed than angry now, I curled my arm around his waist and pulled him away from the door.

"you know I could punish you for putting your self in danger right?" I grumbled moving him slowly back into the room.  he looked up at me with sorrowful eyes and I felt what was left of my anger melt away. "but I've got a better idea" I smirked, I was pretty sure it looked more like an evil grin than a smirk but he seemed to be more confused than worried.