cake oneshots || book two

Very Not Luke

Credit: CaitClandestine

#SlflDallas 9 days🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻SOUNDS LIT FEELS LIT

Here's a picture of a kangaroo cuddling a teddy bear

This is cake I PROMISE you just have to read through...you'll see

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The first thing Ashton notices when he finally jimmies open the door of his and Luke's shitty uni flat after being with his parents for two weeks of their autumn holidays is that Paramore's playing. The second is the general lack of Luke bounding to the door to greet him like the long limbed affectionate puppyboy he is.

Luke doesn't listen to Paramore. Well he did, but apparently the whole like two years since the whatever brothers left hasn't been enough time for him to embrace new Paramore. Ashton doesn't really care either way.

So, Paramore. No instant Luke. Ashton sincerely hopes that Luke hasn't moved out on him or they've forgotten to pay their rent again and now some randoms are in their house and Luke's on the street somewhere.

Ashton drops his bags into a pile by the door and decides he's going to need a drink.

"Luke?" He calls out over the music as he makes his way to the kitchen. "Lukey-wukey?"

Luke could totally be having a Paramore related breakdown or something.

There's a guy in the kitchen and he is Not Luke. Very Not Luke in fact, with Very Not Luke electric blue hair and round eyes and from where he's sitting all the way back on their counter kneading what appears to be dough he looks about as surprised to see Ashton as Ashton is to see him. Hayley's voice comes to a sudden stop as Very Not Luke hits mute on the Iphone docked into Luke's CD player beside him.

"Who the fuck are you, what the fuck are you doing and where the fuck is Luke?"

Please, please don't let Luke be on the streets. Luke's mum will kill him, he's supposed to be using his older than one year and three whole months worth of widsom to keep her baby safe.

"Michael, kneading pizza dough and Luke is with Calum at Coles because they forgot to buy cheese" Very Not Luke says brightly, "You must be Ashton"

None of this makes sense. He's in a parallel universe for sure. Ashton doesn't know a Michael or a Calum - what if they're drug dealers and they've corrupted Luke somehow?

"Who the fuck is Calum?"

Very Not Luke (Calling him Michael would imply that Ashton knows him and he so fücking doesn't) just blinks at him, looking down at his dough and then back up Ashton.

"Calum...Lukes boyfriend?" He says slowly, like he thinks that Ashton's the one out of place here and what, no, Luke does not have a boyfriend. Or at least he hadn't when Ashton had left.

"Luke does not have a boyfriend" Ashton snaps back. "You have about thirty seconds to explain what the fuck is going on and where Luke is before I call the police"

"Woah" Very Not Luke says, lifting his arms warily, like Ashton is going to attack him. (He might) "I'm gonna take a wild guess and say that Luke was lying when he said you knew"

"Knew what?" Ashton growls, "Twenty seconds"

"Long story short Calum met Luke in that Friday afternoon uni soccer club thing they have, asked him out like three weeks ago, said you knew and invited us over tonight even though it so would've been easier at my place but anyway we decided to make pizza, Luke and Calum are genuinely out buying cheese at Coles, you can call him I swear it's the truth"