Spring Lies (On Hold)

F i f t e e n

(CAUTION: .000000001 Mature)

BLAKE

He had a small smell of alcohol.

Sure, I'm letting the so-called bad boy and popular boy sleep in my bed. But tell me why I am. And tell me why I slept next to him. You might as well point out that I locked my door, and moved the chair against it.

I sat up in my bed, and looked over at him. The same him that likes me. I didn't know why I was falling for him, and he never actually confessed to me. Aside from shouting 'I love you, of course!' in the hall. I want an actual confession.

I'm not sure if that's what I want or my mind.

Gabriel's eyes began to flutter open, and he sat up, rubbing his eyes. "What time is it?" He groans. His shirt was all wrinkled up.

"Seven forty five." I reply, leaning back on the headboard.

"Okay," he took a pause. "Why are we in your room?"

"That's where people tend to sleep."

"Oh, so we slept together? Awesome. It would be better if I didn't have this headache. Or pain in my jaw."

"You don't remember anything from last night, do you?" He shook his head. "Good."

Gabriel leans over, and places kisses on my neck. "Did anything happen?" He questions between kisses.

"No, not at all." I gasp quietly at his actions.

"Are you sure? Not even a kiss or an intimate touch?" He whispers, and I nod in response.

Except, that wasn't the truth. We did kiss in his car, and he touched my thigh. It's just a tiny lie and those never really hurt anyone.

He places a kiss on my exposed collar bone.

I push him off. "We can't do that. We can't do anything similar to that. I don't want to do anything like that." A little louder than before.

He looked so confused. "Why not?"

"You haven't given me an actual confession. I want one, especially if it's going to be my first. It just can't happen anyway, even if you would be my first. We just can't."

"Why can't we?"

"Uh, um, I don't want to do that. We're only seventeen."

"You're only seventeen once. Just tell me your reason, and I'll stop. All you have to do is say it, and I'll stop. You're the first girl who hasn't thrown themselves at me because I don't like that. You're different, and beautiful, and you can play one hell of an instrument. I want you to play me a song one day. Jesus Christ, Blake, I love you. I'm in love with you, and I don't want to deny it. There will be a day when we turn to dust, and I know the sun is going to swallow up Earth, and I love you." He whispers.

I stared at him and it's like the first time I've actually stared at him with, like, amusement. He loves me.

The most popular boy at my school is in love with me!

"I-I-I, uh.." I mumble because I really don't know what to say.

"What's it going to take for you to say it?!" He shouted, making me jump a bit. Gabriel hardly ever yelled, but I only just met him.

"Say what?!" I shouted back.

I didn't really care if my dad heard us or not.

"I love you." He said in his normal tone.

"I want to hear you say I love you!" He shouts again.

"Get the hell out!" I yell, and stand up from the bed.

He stands up, wearing the same outfit as the night before. "What did you just say? I just gave you a confession, like you wanted, and you can't simply say it back?"

"Have you even thought that I didn't love you?!" I spit out, and I regret it as soon as it leaves my mouth.

Gabriel's shoulders sink, and he just walks towards the door. Moving and unlocking everything that's blocking his way out.

He's halfway through with unlocking when I blurt out the words I didn't want to ever tell him. "I'm dying, that's why I can't say it."

"Dying? What?" He questions, and turns his head to me.

"I have this sickness, disease, and... Well, you know the outcome. Death." I say, and close my eyes.

"Blake.." And I feel his arms around me, and I feel like breaking down but I don't.

Maybe this is what I've been wanting.

Someone other than my family to care. Someone to love with. Someone to live with. Someone like Gabriel because he would, like, give me these things, but I'll be gone before he even knows it.

And that's why I feel like breaking down. Not because I'm dying, but because I'm hurting everyone else.

Then I imagine them breaking down when I actually die, so I just stand there with Gabriel's arms around me and his warmth against my body.