#whoispoly

ONE DREAM AT A TIME

The sun peaks around the Hollywood Hills to remind me I've slept in, but I want to stay in bed just a few minutes longer, lingering in the warmth of last night's dream.

I spring upright, my form still pressed into the memory foam mattress, today is the day someone will record the song I wrote... ME, Palila Blake!

My stomach turns a somersault... lyrics I wrote. People listening to my most imitate thoughts like my diary being published for the entire world to read... and judge.

I clutch the blanket, wrapping it tightly around both hands. This is gut wrenching, but I don't want this dream to slip away, either. I hold on to it tighter then the one from last night and I leap from bed.

*************

I arrive at King Brothers Studio and Jax introduces me to Jedidiah, the man behind nearly every great hit song from the past two decades. He seems so... normal, not at all like I imagined.

"There she is!" Jase announces as he looks past me. 

I turn to see a tiny, 90's grunge-inspired, porcelain doll with bubble gum pink hair that makes her moss green cat eyes pop. As she moves closer to us, a faint galaxy of freckles becomes visible beneath the highlighter that makes the apples of her cheeks shimmer like newly polished copper. She wears her Dr. Martens unlaced, the perfect contrast to her gauzy, vintage baby doll dress. I'm nearly as green as her eyes with envy.

"Blake, this is Larkin. She heads the band Chasing Castles."

"I love your song," she says in a soft, sugar coated voice.

I'm eager to hear her take on it. I thank her before she makes her way into the soundproof room.

Once inside, with no prepping whatsoever, she begins to sing. Her voice is bigger and more powerful than I thought that tiny body could contain... and she nails it!

"Isn't she great?" Jase walks over to join me behind the soundboard.

"Unbelievable," I respond with a whisper, never looking away from her. She is unreal. She has it all; the look, the voice, the charisma...

Jax's muffled voice comes over the speaker, "Blake, would you mind going in and singing that verse for her... 'catch me in your heart, keep me in your light'... the way you did on the beach, nothing beats that melody."

Oh, God. He cannot be serious. There are so many people here I might as well be performing live at Madison Square Garden. The heaviness of my anxiety washes over my body like a tsunami, telling me I'm afraid, that they will judge me, laugh at me... I promised myself I would not be held back by fear today, so I take a deep breath... "Sure," I agree and enter the sound booth.

Larkin senses my nervous energy and places her hand on the small of my back, rubbing it like a mother consoling a child through her first brush with real life. It helps.

We take turns singing the verse until she perfects it. The tone of her voice to my music is ethereal. At one point, I am so into it that I have my eyes closed... and when I open them, I notice the guys from Summer Neglect have walked in and Micah is staring directly at me.

My first instinct is to hide, to be embarrassed that he'd seen me vulnerable, but it's as if I am under some sort of spell and I can't take my eyes off his. Not even when the song is over.

I head out of the booth and he never drops his gaze.

"That was brilliant! You're a natural!" Jax greets me as I walk back into the room.

"Thank you," I tell him, "Larkin is so great!"

Larkin follows close behind thankfully taking the attention away and I turn to find a place to sit... Micah is still watching me. Now seems like the perfect time to confront him.