#whoispoly

PAST IS PROLOGUE

"What the hell is that?"

Ana is holding up what appears to be a red bathing suit.

"It's a body suit," she informs me, "and yes, you are going to wear it."

"But...,"

"I know what you are going to ask," she interrupts, "and it snaps in the crotch... peeing will not be an issue."

I laugh, I imagine that is a common question when she suggests bodysuits to her clients.

I agree to the very straps, low cut, red bodysuit, and black high-waist jeans on one condition...

"Absolutely not!" she shouts as I pull a black and white checked flannel out of a pile of possibly dirty laundry

"Ana, this is a GREAT outfit... but... I feel naked."

"P now is NOT the time to get self-conscious on me. You have an ammaaaaazing body. Seriously... like.. how are you like this? I'd show it off every chance I got."

It's not that I am ashamed of my body, I just don't like the attention I get when it is on display. Or maybe it's the why of it.

She walks to my closet and pulls out my Dr. Martens. She knows they're my favorite shoes, matte black and well-loved.

"If you insist on that fucking flannel, go with these," she shoves them into my chest, "that is actually a very good outfit... and so you. I hate when you are better at my job than I am."

Ana is probably right about the flannel, but she knows how important it is for me to be comfortable on a night when I am already feeling so vulnerable.

The Uber drops us at Kayla's and she greets us at the door like she'd been anticipating our arrival. She hugs us both and passes the bottle of expensive wine Ana brought to Caleb, demanding he pour us a glass immediately. He never got to say a proper hello.

"C'mon Palila, there are some people I want you to meet," Kayla tugs my arm and I grab onto Ana pulling us both through the crowded house.

She introduces us to a few of her friends... more models. Most of whom already know Ana. Ana, of course, doesn't recognize any of them.

We eventually make our way to the backyard, lit like a somber evening. There is a group of guys standing beneath a canopy of moody cafe lights and cigarette smoke.

I dig my nails into the meaty part of Anabeth's arm. I know she'll be talking about the ugly bruise for weeks to come, but at the moment she doesn't say a word or try to squirm out of it. Ana knows I have just spotted someone.

"Who is it," she whispers so low I can only feel the words.

She follows my gaze to someone who appears frozen in time. He's the reason for her bruised arm.

His eyes widen and then his mouth falls open.

Kayla's introductions sound like memories passing through the walls of an old home... and when she says his name; a ghost inhabiting my body.

"You remember Tyler, right?"

I hate the way she is asking me if I remember him. Reminding me that she knows him better than I do now. Forgetting that she is the reason either of us would have forgotten the other.

   
"Palila," his voice softens when he says my name and walks slowly towards me.

I can feel Ana looking through me, trying to read my mind, trying to sense how I must be feeling. She scans me for a reaction. She is awaiting my direction on how to respond to yet another attack from my past.