I step into my best dress. It is a short sleeve, floral pattern. I love it and I'm sure Marcus will too. I don't wear this dress very often. I look in the bottom of my closet for shoes to match. I debate on either the sky blue flats- which match the flowers on my dress- or the black wedges with the strips across the top. The wedges will make me taller, but the flats will probably not kill my feet so quick...
I turn around and pick up my phone, clicking on Katie's FaceTime contact. It rings three times before she answers. I don't remember if she is at work or not, but I want to make it quick anyways.
"Hey!" Katie says excitedly. "What's up? I thought you have your date tonight?"
"I do, but I need your help." I walk to the mirror and flip the camera around so she can see my full body. "I'm wearing this dress tonight, but I can't decide on my sky flats or the black wedges?"
"Tough choice," Katie says. I smile as I flip the camera back to the front. "I like the black wedges though. They make you look taller."
"My exact thought," I say with a smile. "Black ones it is. Thank you. Crisis has been avoided."
"No problem," Katie says. "So, do you know where he's taking you yet?"
"No," I say. I'm excited, but I'm also a little anxious. I told Taylor about it this morning during our session. She came by to talk about Tom and what was going on with them. She didn't seem too happy in the relationship anymore. I'd seen her when they first started dating, before she took all the trips with him, and she'd been over-the-moon. Now, though, it seemed like that spark wasn't there anymore. Of course, talking about relationships, she asked me about mine. She didn't know the entire story, but she did know that something between Selena, Justin, and myself happened.
"I've gotta go," Katie says. "My boss is coming back."
She doesn't wait for me to answer, but I don't mind. I slip into my wedges. By "slip", I mean I struggled for a solid minute to get the straps to lay across my feet just right. They are always tangling when I first put them on. I stood up from the edge of the bed and looked at myself in the mirror again.
I can't believe I am trusting someone to take me somewhere I have no clue about. I take a deep breath, stilling the butterflies fluttering in my stomach. There is a knock on the door and I grab my over-the-shoulder clutch off the bed and head to open it.
"Hey, Mar-" I stop talking as soon as I look at who is standing at my door. It isn't Marcus. It's the last person I want to see right now. "Justin? What are you doing here?" I lean out the door and look up and down the hall, hoping no one- Marcus, in particular- sees him.
"I had to see you," he says. That's all he says, but I look at his expression. His eyes are so brown. I've missed looking into them. Marcus's eyes are brown too, but they aren't Justin's. No ones eyes are like Justin's. I can see he is being sincere, but he couldn't have come at a worse possible time.
"I can't talk right now," I say. I can hear the rush in my words and the coldness in my tone. Justin doesn't move though. He just stands there. I can see his eyes look me up and down and then realization hits him. I can see the pain spread across his face, from the furrow of his brows to the frown that replaces his smile.
"You're going on a date." It isn't a question but I have the need to answer it anyways.
"I am." That's all I say.
Justin doesn't say another word but turns around and leaves. I stand there, outside my door and with tears threatening in my eyes, as he walks down the stairs. I take a deep, shaky breath and head to the elevator in the opposite direction. I'm walking outside the main entrance just in time to see Justin pull out of the parking lot. We make eye contact, but only for a second. It didn't matter. I can see the tears in his eyes. The pain on his face.
I can't hold back the single tear that rolls down my face.
**************
"You okay?" Marcus asks, glancing at me from the driver's seat. "You're unusually quiet today."
"I'm okay," I lie. He'd pulled up to the apartment building just minutes after Justin left. I had wiped away the tear and reapplied some makeup under my eyes so it didn't look as obvious that I want nothing more than to break down and cry.
"You sure?" He asks.
"I'm just wondering where you're taking me," I say. I hope that he takes the bait to change the subject. Thankfully, he does.
"I can give you a hint," he says. "We're going to meet someone."
Fear. Panic. I want to reach my leg over and punch the brake down and not let it go. I know it's crazy to be thinking like this, but I know who we are going to go see. His concert is tonight and his meet and greets are always before the show. The meet and greets that he still does. We had talked about it a couple of times- his decisions to stop doing meet and greets and taking photos with fans.
"You just went about four shades paler," Marcus comments.
I shake my head and look from the window to him. The smile on my face is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. "We're going to see Justin Bieber, aren't we?" There is no emotion in my voice as I ask and he picks up on it.
"Yeah," he says. Before I can say anything else though, although I have no idea what I would say, 'sorry, I don't want to go see my ex-boyfriend, the first guy that I ever loved in my twenty- two years of living, with my current boyfriend' or 'I actually just saw him because he was at my place and told me he had to see me', he continues to speak. "I know it may not be something you want to do, but I thought that if we could create some good memories together, you would be okay. I mean, I could tell that you were really upset about something with Justin that first night I met you and I don't want you to feel like that. Especially since Justin is everywhere. I want you to think about us and have good memories when and if you run into anything to do with him. I don't want you to be hurt."
Yeah, I don't think that's going to happen, I think to myself. But I can see Marcus's reasoning and it does make sense. If only it was that simple of just making new and better memories. He must have spent a fortune on tickets too. I can't back out. I fake another smile, although I want to curl up in a ball on my bed.
"Sounds good to me," I say. I try to make it sound natural but each word is forced. They almost don't make it out of my throat. We settle into a heavy silence as Marcus drives.
**I was going to write more, but I'm stopping it here because the next chapter is going to have so much in it! Don't wanna overwhelm you too much!**
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A New Form of Therapy
FanfictionBook #2 of series. Lindsey is moving on from Justin. Or so she thinks. She's throwing herself into work and working out. It's the end of October and when Lindsey decides to attend a Halloween bash, the last thing she expected to do was get drunk an...