A New Form of Therapy

Seeing Him Again

I open my eyes hours later, seeing a hint of sun coming through the curtain. I don't want to fall asleep again, so I sit up and throw my legs over the edge of the bed. I look behind me, half hoping that I had called Justin to come over rather than just dreaming it. But there was no one.

I grab my phone and hit the power button, squinting my eyes at the brightness. I open my messages and just stare.

I'm sorry. I miss you. Call me if you want.

I want to call him. I wanted to call him last night. I wanted to call him every day for the last three months. I can imagine that you're judging me right now because we weren't dating for very long, we didn't even go out in public during that time either. At least, that's what I've been telling myself. I don't understand how I could fall for him so hard so fast. I did though.

I grip my phone tight and head out to the living room. I don't see Katie, but as I walk into the kitchen, I see a note on the table.

Leb, had to get my car and go to work. Thanks for letting me crash for a little while. I'll call you later and check on you. Love you.

I left the note where it was and turned to look for something to eat. I drank a good bit last night but didn't eat anything. I'm starving. My phone goes off as I'm scrambling some eggs and I pick it up to see who it is texting me so early. It's just Katie.

My smile fades as I realize I was hoping it was Justin again. I read her message, just asking if I got her note and that she made it to her car and work safely. I sent her a smiley emoji back and promise to call her later. I transfer the eggs to a plate before sitting down.

I look at Justin's messages from last night again. I scroll up and read some of our past messages. Most of our relationship is in those messages. I smile, remembering what I was doing or thinking while we were texting. One conversation caught my attention, the first time that he brought up wanting to go public with our relationship. I didn't tell him the real reason why I didn't want to. It was dumb. I just told him that I wasn't ready for all of it. What I didn't tell him was that I wasn't ready for the fallout. Someone would say something. I could lose my job for crossing that line with a client. I don't want to go through what Selena did. That last one was the main reason. I loved our little world while we were together. I didn't want anything to pop that.

But in the end, I popped it myself.

A new message comes through, sending the messages away to reveal the new one. It is from Justin.

Good morning. Are you awake?

I can't help but smile. I have to text him back though. There's no way getting around having this conversation. We owe it to each other, at least.

Good morning. Yes, I am awake. I'll be home all day.

I take a bite of my eggs before he messages back.

Can I come over?

I think about seeing him again. I've missed him, but what am I going to do when I see him? Be mad at him, hug him, kiss him?

Yes.

I finish my eggs fast before putting the plate in the sink and head to be bathroom. I desperately need a shower. Not to mention that I'm still in the clothes I was dancing in most of the night. A knock on the door sounded through the apartment. I curse under my breath, hoping that it isn't Justin already. I need to shower and think about what I'm going to say.

I go to the door anyways and open it. It is Justin and I let out a long sigh. No, wait.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, looking at the guy. It's the same guy from last night. The one I yelled at because I was drunk. Oh yeah, he's probably wondering why I did that, I think to myself.