Chaos

8. I stared at her

Chapter 8,

I STARED AT HER:

Oscar

The tutoring session is going great again, I feel as if I actually understand things and the whole chapter doesnt seem so unclear anymore. I finish all the exercises and am quite confident about them. I even look them over twice to be sure. As I can find no mistakes I nod to myself and look up to tell Charlotte that I'm done as I get caught off guard with... I dont even know.

I look up and forget to breath for a few moments. In front of me sits the same Charlotte as five minutes ago but something is different.

I dont know if its the late afternoon sun that highlights a few golden strands in her normally dark hair or that brings out the light freckles on her nose or the way she bites her lips when she concentrates.

Maybe its her blunt face, her dark short eye lashes and eyebrows or the red spot on her forehead. All I can think is utterly perfection.

She looks up and slowly releases her underlip from between her teeth and again, I cant help but stare at the redish lips which look very dry and are probably not very well taken care of.

Charlotte wears an old hoodie and beneath that, a simple white tshirt but still in that moment I adore every piece, part and aspect of her and realise how beautifully sexy she is with her messy bun.

Her skin is so pale, it looks like porcelain, as if a single touch could break her and then when I meet her eyes, I feel like it would actually break her.

Her big dark brown eyes, again capturing the sun perfectly, look confused and nervous. As they meet mine I dont want to look away, not ever again but as I realise how amazingly innocent this stunning human being is, I realise another thing.

I am staring at her. Big time. Like a creep and it looks like I cant stop. Also another thing hits me like a train, Im her sisters boyfriend and this fact lets me snap out of what ever that just was and I look at my sheet of paper really quickly.

Not only to look away but also because I feel a burning heat on my face. What the hell, am I blushing?

Seriously? I was never one to blush, not because of a girl and especially not because of a girl like Charlotte.

Just as I finished that thought I feel guilty, havent I just compared her to perfection? I am so confused.

So so very confused and my heart races and god knows what else.

"Uh... are you done?" I hear Charlotte's tiny voice ask and my head shoots up to meet her worried eyes. God dammit dont look at me like that Char.

"Yeah." I say but it comes out more like a croak so I clear my throat, close my eyes for a moment, breath in deeply and then nod. "Yes, I am."

**********************

Listening to some pop radio station Meredith adjusted last time she was in my car, I drive down the highway, I try to shut off my brain for a moment. Today I took the math test I studied with Charlotte for and to be honest, it went great.

After school I spent nearly the whole day with Paul and Nick and some other guys and we had a really good time. It made me miss the old not so hectic days badly.

Paul was a bit moody cause he didnt know any answers to the test, so I told him about Charlotte and how she helped me. It made me think about the incident a few days ago and made me feel crazy in my stomach again but whatever.

I am just really thankful, she helped me a lot and now I think about all the positivity of my grades and I connect that to her, probably normal and hey, in the end Im just another confused teenager.

Paul ended up asking me, if I could get Charlotte to tutor him too. I told him that I would ask her and thats what I am going to do now. Im on the way to Charlotte's and Meredith's apartement to ask my girlfriend's sister if she could help Paul.

Thats normal, shut up.

As I park in one of the free spots, look into the mirror and check if my hair looks good and then hop out of the car and ring the bell.

"Hi." Charlotte greets me confused as she opens the apartement door for me.

"Hey" I smile and walk past her, like I always do.

"What are you doing here?" I hear her asking from behind me and I turn around.

"o- of course youre always welcome but Meredith isnt here and..." She then says in a rush as she understood how her first sentence sounded. So unsure and insecure, I think to myself and get rid of that grin of mine, instead I raise my eyebrows and ask "Mer isnt here?"

Char shakes her head and then rushes past me mumbling about something like a cake and burning or so. I follow her as she heads into the kitchen and opens the oven.

She puts on a pair of kitchen gloves and then takes out a delicious smelling cake. I follow her movement and then say "I didnt know she wasnt here, I thought we agreed on meeting here at" I look at the time on my watch "six pm."

Charlotte just nods and gives me an "mhm", as she, very concentrated, puts the cake on a plate. She bites her lip and doesnt even acknowledge me. Notice me, Char.

She works with patience and dexterity and every little movement seems so delicate it wouldnt have hurt a butterfly. Don't notice me, keep doing what you do.

"What are you making there?" I then ask her, as I take a closer look. Grace cuts layers into the cake and it takes her a few moments to respond.

"Its a birthday cake for my friend, its" she stops to talk, cuts through the last piece, uprights and looks at me "apparently my specialty, but who knows."

She grins a bit at me and then examines my pose, as I lean on the kitchen island with my hands crossed and supported at the marble surface.

"I dont know if waiting here for Meredith makes sense, cause she said something about coming home late."

Charlotte looks at me shortly but then turns her attention to her cake again, which she lifts from the kitchen island and carries to the fridge.

"yeah I know, but since Im already here, I might as well stay. We can watch a movie or something."

Charlotte who was basically in the fridge with her whole upper body, turns around to face to me and seems confused. She looks at me, then glances out of the window for a short time and then says "sure." but it sounds more like a question, that I somehow want to answer with every kind of yes I know.

****************

A little bit later we sit in front of the TV in her living room and are watching a comedy movie about whatever, I couldn't concentrate for too long.

She sits next to me and happily munches on cheese balls while clearly enjoying the film. I cant stop eyeing her up and down with side glances and hope she doesn't notice.

Charlotte not Meredith.

Not my girlfriend but her sister. I am aware of it, ok.

But Im also aware of me not being able to stop, the way she simply is, is too intriguing, too attractive.

The way her hair is a bit tousled and her top rides up on her back, making me see her porcelain skin, I cannot simply not look.

At the same time I know that I will have to look away eventually, simply cause I have no right to look. Not even think about it, shit not even know about it. Not even know about the goddess next to me, like I did a few days ago. God how could I not see it, I think, as I watch Char laugh slightly at something in the television.

However my train of thoughts gets cut short as I hear the apartment door falling shut. I slightly slip away from Charlotte and watch as the living room door opens up.

The twin's mum comes in and at first doesn't acknowledge us, looking for something in her purse, then, as she looks up, her eyes wander over Charlotte and then me and then she furrows her eyebrows.

"Hello Charlotte, Oscar." She then says.