If Things Should Stay the Same

Chapter 1: Party

He did not hate parties but he did not like them either. In contrast, his parents enjoyed throwing parties for whatever reason they could come up with.

A party for his first championship tournament in tennis. A party for him winning five academic contests in a span of a month. A party for him graduating with the highest distinction in college. A party for his acceptance into a scholarship program into medicine. Even a party for his flight without the company of anyone but his personal attendant for a week's seminar about business management in a different country.

It was ridiculous. He could not understand how other people found parties delightful.

He found it tiresome and annoying having to rummage through his wardrobe for a particular set of clothing that his mother would approve of him to wear. He felt parties had non-negotiable rules and regulations about dress codes which she seemed to religiously follow and strictly enforce on him. If he could get away with it, he would wear any pair of jeans and a shirt or even pajamas for parties that lasted long enough to reach midnight.

Then there was the layers of makeup his mother would put on his face to attain a sociably acceptable look. It struck him as an incredibly absurd practice to apply seemingly infinite chemicals onto one's face in order to look like a mildly improved version of one's self or the ghost of an unfunny clown. That was not even taking into account that his mother equally enjoyed putting him through it along with the fancy dress picking.

Staring himself down the mirror, he was not sure if he was overdressed or underdressed for tonight's occasion. A waistcoat, a long-sleeved collared shirt, a tie, a pair of slacks, brand-new leather shoes, his face all peppered with powder, his hair styled with a can of mousse. If he did not know any better, he would say he was ready to crash someone's wedding tonight as the resentful uninvited ex-boyfriend.

"You look fine," a familiar voice said, interrupting his train of thought.

He turned around to be greeted by the sight of his personal butler, briefly wondering how the latter had gotten in without even alerting him. He scanned the room for the door which was now wide open, trying to remember if he forgot to close it in the first place.

"Joshua? I'm sorry. I'm just overthinking things," he said, shaking his head in an effort to consciously forget the image of him being self-conscious with his looks.

"You're always so concerned with how you look these days, Master. Is that perhaps something picked up from your trip in the East?" Joshua responded, then realizing it sounded unintentionally cheeky, and quickly added, "I was joking."

"No, I just don't want to stick out from the attendees. Where have you been anyway? I haven't seen you since I got here today. Then I find you mysteriously appearing inside my room," he said, folding his arms and looking crossly at his butler. He did not even bother hiding his displeasure at the matter in his tone.

"My most sincere apologies for the unexplained intrusion, Master. But if you would please, the party welcoming you back from your trip to the East is about to start in a few minutes," Joshua humbly bowed as a form of apology upon finishing his statements.

He knew his butler was going to get into trouble if he was late. Even if it was his fault that they were not going anywhere in the first place.

But something inside him was begging to know what was happening while he was away. He had been so used to Joshua attending to him regardless of the time of the day since he was twelve. Joshua was good at knowing what he wanted and did every single task in the way he preferred it to be done. It just felt strange to not have him by his side for the last few days.

Maybe because he was getting too dependent on him, Alex thought.

He sighed, unable to continue being or even looking upset at Joshua. He knew it was most likely not Joshua's fault in the first place. Something he had to bring up with his parents at some point this week.

"You know, you can call me by my first name. We're the same age. We went to the same school together, attended the same classes up until college. My family treats you like you're my brother. There is no reason for you to address me so formally in my lone company. Besides, you're a friend to me, not just a butler under my employment," he said, trying to adjust and readjust his tie. Although, it looked more like a child fumbling with it than anything, prompting Joshua to intervene and assist.

"Apologies, Master Alexander. I just... find that hard to do." Joshua appeared to stutter, struggling to lose the formality he had been trained to use at all times when in service. It felt as if he was pronouncing his own name wrongly.

"You can start with calling me 'Alex'. The way you used to call me when we were younger. When your duties still didn't interfere with being my friend."

"Okay, Alex. What... else would you have me do?" Joshua tried to avoid eye contact with Alex, trying to pretend he was more concerned with the state of the tie.

"Well... you see... I've decided to go to medical school next year. I know it's a lot of studying as well as hard work. And I would probably hate it. But I can't realize my dream if I don't do anything about it, right?" He had been so excited about pursuing a career as a doctor and wanted Joshua to be the first one to know since getting back from the East.

Joshua nodded as he straightened out Alex's collar before buttoning up the wrist cuffs of the sleeved shirt.

"It's going to be busy and draining and challenging and all that. But with you, I feel like I can do anything. So I was hoping... actually, no, I would like for you to come with me," he said with a smile while Joshua returned to fixing the tie.

Joshua briefly froze, the tie slowly sliding from his grip and falling back on Alex's chest to rest against the fabric of the coat. He took a few steps back, stumbling on a footstool and almost completely losing his balance. Quick to regain his composure, he stood up straight as if nothing had happened but continued to avert his gaze from Alex, looking at the maroon carpeted floor and preferring to keep quiet instead.

It was evident to him that Joshua was hiding from something, never having been a good liar since they were kids in the first place. He knew that Joshua had his own fair share of secrets when they were growing up and he had let those remain as secrets, respecting a person's right to privacy.

But this time he needed to know why Joshua's actions deviated from the usual routine he had grown so accustomed to and this other unexpected reaction gave him ample reason to believe something wrong was up. He clenched his fist and walked over towards the silent Joshua who made no move as Alex approached him. The awkward silence between was just getting him agitated again, causing him to bite his lip as he sized up against Joshua.

Before his growing impatience for an answer could pressure Joshua into giving one, a sharp knock on the door dashed all hopes of continuing the conversation and temporarily took them aback with such surprise that they even held their breath for a few seconds, simultaneously exhaling when they heard the sound of someone clearing his throat.

"Hey! Alex? Josh? Are you guys still there? Mr. and Mrs. Garnier asked me to come get you guys. The party is about to start," a shrill voice said from the other side of the door.

Immediately identifying her as the majordomo of the household, the two knew better than to come up with any actual or made-up excuse and yelled in unison, "Coming! Coming, Miss Elena!"

"I'm just getting Joshua to sort my hair out for the last time," Alex called out as he pretended to have his butler sort his hair for the umpteenth time.

"Well, you guys better hurry. I'm gonna have to sort out the food catering," Elena replied, sounding satisfied with their response. "Don't take too long," her voice then trailed off as her heavy boots lumbered away into the corridor.

As soon as Elena's footsteps could no longer be heard, Alex leaned over to whisper in Joshua's ear. "We'll continue this later. After the party, in my room."