Hearing My plea

1

"But the party just started! You're telling me you aren't having any fun?" Olivia shouted over the music that was vibrating the entire house. She had a beer in her hand and was swaying her hips while she talked, oblivious to the fact that I was definitely not having as good a time as her.  

I shrugged and looked around. People were jammed into the living room turned dance floor. A girl clipped me in the ribs and another pushed me to the side of the room. A guy coming in through the kitchen sloshed his beer on my shoes. "Who, me? I totally am! I can't imagine doing anything else on a Saturday night. Like studying or reading a good book."  

She looked like she didn't believe me about having fun, then gave me another that said- you are such a nerd, which would be a smart choice to say, but I chose to ignore her and took a look around the room for the third time. I only saw a couple people here I knew, and even then it was only by name. Everyone here looked like they were either here to grind or drink. "I'm going to go get some fresh air," I said loudly to Olivia over the music. She nodded her approval and disappeared into the swarm of sweaty bodies that were "dancing".   

I took refuge through the back door, inhaling the fresh air as if I had not breathed in forever- it was definitely hard to do so inside with all the intoxicating fumes. Who knew what they were smoking in there?   

The stars were just beginning to peek out through the sapphire carpet of sky. I wondered then how Apollo did it, turning day into night and night into day. Did he have fun? Was that a hobby of his? Or just his job? Maybe he was cursed to do it and forced by Zeus, the god of the sky. I imagined myself in the golden chariot, controlling the ability to change the appearance of the evening. If it were up to me, I would have it be night all the time, and plead Zeus to keep the sky clear of any clouds that may be in the way so that I may look upon the stars.  

Sometimes I wondered which star my father was. Was he the one that pointed to the North? Or the one that shone brightest in the sky? I often wondered if maybe he made up a constellation, sharing space with other friends and family. I hoped he could see me, and perhaps guide me in the right direction as to of who I was, or whom I was meant to become. I never fit in anywhere, especially when I got that mark near my eye.  

The day I turned sixteen, a welt appeared under the corner of my eye on my cheekbone. For hours on end it burned, and at first all it did was throb and become scarlet. The doctor thought I was allergic to something, but my mother and I couldn't figure a cause. The next day, the flower appeared. A Trillium Grandiflorum, to be exact. It had three petals that swiveled on the ends. My mother was furious, concluding that I had gotten a tattoo. To this day she does not think anything but. Despite its beauty, I hate it. At first, kids at school were talking all month about my "tattoo". Things like-  

"Did you see her tattoo? I didn't know she was into that..."  

"You think she's a rebel? Or maybe in a gang?"  

"I think she looks better with it- anything to help that face of hers, if that's what you want to call it."  

All the comments, the stares, the accusing looks, hurt. Then there were the comments like-  

"I think it makes her look hot."  

"She could be popular now!"  

"I wouldn't mind hooking up with that..."  

I told myself that their opinions didn't matter, that I didn't care. But I couldn't help but feel self conscious, awkward. Different. I didn't fit in before, and I didn't fit in then.  

Suddenly I had to pee. I was just re-entering the back door when I heard someone yell from the front room- "Cops!"  

All hell broke loose. People pushed me aside to get through the back of the door, but were immediately halted by a man in a blue uniform, pointing a taser gun at us. "Freeze!" he shouted.    As the police lined us up in the backyard - hard to do with fifty kids - I tried to spot Olivia. I think she was near the far end, the complete opposite of me. She caught my eye and gave me a look of terror. She had been drinking, but only the lord knew how much. And as one of the five cops inspected a kid two spots to my right, it was discovered that there had been substances of marijuana being inhaled by many guests.