Keep dreaming. Reality is cruel, and the real world is cold.
Practice went as usual. Serving, spiking, receiving... The normal. At least the others felt it was that way. Yamaguchi couldn't help but dwell on the aching, weak feeling in his chest. He felt dizzy, and weary.. And everything around him was quiet. Yama completely forgot about the practice around him. All he could focus on was Tsukki. Nothing else. What if.. What if he felt the same? What if he had feelings too?? No, ridiculous. If I told him how I felt he'd call me an idiot. Pathetic...he's not wrong. I am an idiot. I am pathetic. I can't do anything right. Yamaguchi would always push those negative thoughts away. He would tell himself better, but.. Now, he can't. He lets those words slowly pile on him.. Yamaguchi.. A faint voice spoke, but he ignored it. I'm pathetic. I can't do anything right.. "YAMAGUCHI!" Before he knew it, the volleyball drilled straight into his face. "Wh-" the pain hit him immediately, as he fell back. "Ah! Y-Yamaguchi, I'm Sorry!" Suga panicked, running over with the others. "Uhhhh.." Yamaguchi groaned. He felt his nose bleeding, and covered it with his hand. "Yachi! Get some ice!" Daichi called out. "Y-yes!!" She panicked, hurrying to get ice. "L-lean your head forward, n-not back okay??" Suga said, helping Yamaguchi sit up. He was like a mom to the others, always on edge about them. "I'm f-fine, I'm fine." Yama smiled, looking at the blood in his hand. He was handed a tissue and ice by Yachi, pressing it to his nose. "What the hell was that?" Tsukki sounded disappointed. "You can't just drift off during practice." "I-I know, I'm sorry..." Yama said faintly. "Are you alright? You've seemed... Really off, lately." Hinata spoke. Yamaguchi became quiet. They're right. "I'm just tired, that's all. Really.." Yamaguchi tried to reassure the others. "Hm.. How about you go home for today? Get some rest." Ukai came over. "I..I don't really-" "cmon. Nothing's going on today, so just go rest." Tanaka cut Yama off, smiling. "..o-okay.." Yamaguchi said in a faint voice. "I'll walk you home." Tsukki suddenly said. "Eh? T-Tsukki, you don't have to-" "I want to. Now let's go." He said sternly, walking to the doors. The others were just as confused as Yamaguchi was, but went with it. "I'll see you all later.." He smiled. I'll see you all later. Hopefully.
The walk home was most silent, not much conversation happening. Yamaguchi wanted to speak, wanted to say how he felt... "Um.. T-Tsukki.." He said shakily. "What?" Tsukki moved both of his headphones down. That was a good sign. "I'm.. I'm really sorry that I've been acting off lately..." Yamaguchi rubbed his arms, looking down. Tsukki glanced at him, for once, his face softened. Yama... What's going on? Are you okay? Do you need me? He wanted to ask. "It's fine." That's all that came out. "Just don't act that was again." Tsukki regretted those words. "..yeah.. I won't.." Yama felt as if his heart was breaking. "Here we are." Tsukki changed topics as they arrived to Yamaguchi's house. "O-oh. Okay..." He felt disappointed. Stay with me! He wanted to cry out. Instead, he opened the door and walked in. "I'll see you later." Tsukki spoke. "...sure." Yamaguchi let that slip. He usually said something like "of course!" Or, "definitely!" Not this time. Without a goodbye, he shut the door. "Mmm.." He groaned, walking over to the kitchen. His body froze. Glancing at the drawers, he thought...
...I deserve it.
