"Hey, Pooja! It's me, Ezra—"
"Pooja's not interested, and she actually has a custom message for you: 'Go suck a dick. Just because you have one doesn't mean you need to act like one.'"
"Well, shit. This is the second time in September that I've had to talk to you."
"Those are some harsh words from Pooja. [snicker] What the hell did you do, Ezra, hook up with all of her friends and then her mom?"
"I actually might've hooked up with one of her friends. Or two."
"I think you have a problem, Ezra."
"Probably. Hey, you live in Santiago, California too, right?"
"Yeah."
"What school do you go to?"
"Sequoia Prep."
"You go to that genius school?"
"It's not a genius school. It's just a place where nerds who subsist on nothing but cup noodles and calculator dust congregate to eat cup noodles and calculator dust."
"High praise, Nika."
"Where do you go?"
"Anglo International School of America."
"You're an international student? Where are you from?"
"I'm Australian."
"That explains the accent. Do you—"
"Before you ask, no, I don't happen to own a kangaroo, nor do I live in a bungalow."
"I wasn't going to say that."
"What were you going to say?"
"Do you happen to have koalas in your backyard?"
"[elongated groan] Fuck you."
YOU ARE READING
Heartbreak Hotline
Short Story❝I... I got rejected?❞ ❝Yeah, and now I can see why.❞ Ezra Remme starts getting rejected by girls when they learn about his hook-up tactics. And rejection hotline operator Nika Ivashkov is here as the messenger.
